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Capitol Hill is the only place where people use the word "recess" and it doesn't involve a playground. It's like, "Sorry, guys, I can't chat right now – I'm in legislative recess. Catch you on the swing set of democracy later.
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Capitol Hill is the only place where people argue about the national debt while sipping on $20 lattes. It's like, "We're in financial crisis, but can we get almond milk with that deficit, please?
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Capitol Hill is the only place where you'll find more suits than a dry cleaner's convention. It's like a fashion show for serious people. I tried wearing a suit once, but they asked me if I was lost on my way to the comedy club – apparently, jokes don't count as formal attire.
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Have you ever been to a Capitol Hill dinner party? It's the only place where the appetizers are more exclusive than the guest list. I asked for some cheese, and they handed me a plate with a security clearance.
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Have you ever noticed how politicians on Capitol Hill always have that perfectly coiffed hair? It's like they're in a perpetual shampoo commercial. I guess the secret to bipartisan cooperation is having a good hair day.
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Walking around Capitol Hill is like navigating a maze of power ties and ambitious handshakes. It's so intense that I half-expect someone to jump out from behind a pillar and yell, "You've been promoted to Secretary of Puns!
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You ever notice how everyone on Capitol Hill talks in acronyms? It's like a secret code. I tried using acronyms in my daily life, but when I told my friend I'd BRB, he just looked at me and said, "What are you, running for office?
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Capitol Hill has more backdoor deals than a Black Friday sale. I tried negotiating my way into a better seat at a committee hearing once – they just laughed and told me that's not how democracy works. Apparently, popcorn and a soda won't cut it.
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Capitol Hill is the only place where people argue about everything, and yet, they all seem to agree on one thing – the coffee has to be stronger than their political opinions. It's like a secret requirement: "Can you filibuster and handle a triple espresso? Welcome to D.C.
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