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The Conspiracy Quack Theorist
Believing that ducks are plotting world domination
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The other day, I caught a duck reading a map. I asked, "Where are you going?" It looked at me and said, "Just quack and follow, human." I'm telling you, ducks have a master plan.
The Duck Whisperer
Trying to communicate with ducks and decipher their quacks
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It's tough being the duck whisperer. I thought I heard them planning a rebellion. Turns out, they were just quacking up over a joke about a chicken crossing the road. Guess even ducks have dad jokes.
The Quackers Anonymous Support Group Leader
Helping ducks overcome their addiction to breadcrumbs
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We had a breakthrough in the support group when a duck admitted, "I hit rock bottom when I started eating gluten-free breadcrumbs. I mean, what's the point?" Now we're working on acceptance, not just of breadcrumbs, but of who they are as ducks.
The Duck Fashionista
Trying to create a stylish line of duck apparel
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I'm telling you, duck fashion is the next big thing. I pitched my idea to Vogue, and they said, "We don't cover quack couture." But mark my words, soon every duck will be strutting the catwalk in style.
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