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You ever notice how social media has changed the game of humor? I posted a joke online the other day, and the only thing that got shattered was my self-esteem. I thought I was a comedic genius, but the internet disagreed. My post got more dislikes than a broccoli-flavored lollipop. And what's the deal with memes? They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I can't even get a like for a meme that took me an hour to create. Maybe I should switch to cat videos; apparently, that's the secret to breaking the internet.
In the world of social media, my humor is like a post without hashtags – overlooked and underappreciated. But hey, at least I'm not trying to be a TikTok dancer. I've got two left feet, and one of them's broken.
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Workplaces, am I right? My office is like a comedy club, except instead of a two-drink minimum, it's a two-cup-of-coffee maximum. We have a coffee machine that's older than the concept of casual Fridays. I tried to lighten the mood at the office with a joke during a team meeting. I said, "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" Dead silence. It was like I told them the punchline in Klingon. Maybe my coworkers are just more into dark matter than dad jokes.
And don't get me started on office pranks. I once replaced my colleague's mouse with a real mouse. The only laughter came from the janitor when he found me chasing a rodent around the office.
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You ever notice how humor can be a lot like my sense of fashion? Broken. Yeah, I’m the guy who tells a joke and people just stare at me like I’m trying to explain the theory of relativity to a goldfish. My humor is so broken, it's like I bought it from a discount store, and now I can't return it. I tried self-deprecating humor once, you know, making fun of myself. But even my self-deprecating jokes failed. I told a friend, "I'm so bad at telling jokes, I couldn’t even make a depressed clown laugh." He just looked at me and said, "Well, that's not surprising."
So, I decided to embrace my broken humor. I call it avant-garde comedy. It's so advanced that not even I get it. But hey, if Picasso can paint a wonky face and call it art, I can tell a bad joke and call it comedy genius.
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Let's talk about relationships. You ever been in a relationship where your significant other laughs at your jokes out of pity? Yeah, my love life is like a sitcom where the laugh track is on permanent vacation. I crack a joke, and the only response I get is the sound of crickets having a quiet dinner in the background. I told my girlfriend, "Honey, I'm like a fine wine; my humor gets better with age." She responded, "More like a bottle of vinegar; it just gets sour." Ouch. I thought relationships were supposed to be built on mutual laughter, not a stand-up comedy roast.
But you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine. Well, I must be dating a doctor because my girlfriend is never sick.
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