16 Jokes For Breather

Puns

Updated on: Feb 26 2025

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Why did the breather become a gardener? Because he wanted to 'leaf' the stress behind!
I tried to be a mime, but I couldn't resist taking a breather!
Why did the lung break up with the nostril? It needed more space for personal breathing!
My friend told me he's writing a book on breathing techniques. I said, 'Inhale-arious!
Why did the breather become a comedian? Because he wanted to take a lot of 'punch' lines!
What do you call a fish that practices deep breathing? A Zen-gill!

Breathing Competitions

I found out my neighbor and I have this unspoken competition on who can breathe louder during morning yoga. I didn't know yoga had a soundtrack, but apparently, it's just heavy breathing.

Breathing Apps

I downloaded a meditation app to help me relax, and it said, Focus on your breath. So now, instead of feeling calm, I'm just hyper-aware of the fact that breathing manually is surprisingly exhausting.

Breathing Etiquette

You know you're an adult when you argue with your spouse about proper breathing etiquette. It's like, Honey, you can't just inhale the entire oxygen supply; we're sharing this air.

Breathing Styles

I discovered there are two types of people in this world: those who inhale loudly and those who judge people who inhale loudly. I'm in both categories, depending on the day.

The Breather

You ever notice how we all have that one friend who insists on taking a breather during a workout? They're like, I need to catch my breath. And I'm like, We're not being chased by lions, Dave. This is Zumba.

The Silent Treatment

My girlfriend told me she needs some space, so now I've labeled the couch as her designated breathing area. It's not the silent treatment; it's the breathable treatment.

Breathalyzer Excuses

My friend got pulled over for a DUI, and when the cop asked if he had been drinking, he said, No, officer, I was just practicing deep breathing exercises. Now he's known as the Yogi of Traffic Violations.

Inhale the Confidence

I read somewhere that taking deep breaths helps boost your confidence. So now, before any important meeting, I'm in the corner, inhaling like I'm about to blow up a balloon. Spoiler alert: it hasn't boosted my confidence, but I can whistle really well now.

Breath of Life

They say life is a series of breaths. Well, I must be doing pretty well because I've hyperventilated through a whole season of Netflix. If binge-watching was an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medalist in involuntary cardio.

Deep Breaths

I tried meditation for the first time, and the instructor said, Take deep breaths. I misunderstood and ended up hyperventilating. Now I'm the Zen master of panic attacks.

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