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Why did Bowser apply for a job at the bakery? He heard they kneaded a tough crust!
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Why did Bowser start a music band? He wanted to show off his turtle rock skills!
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Bowser wanted to be a stand-up comedian. His opening line? 'Why did the Koopa cross the road? To shell-ebrate on the other side!
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What's Bowser's favorite type of movie? Anything with a good shell-shock twist!
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Why did Bowser break up with Princess Peach? He wanted a shell-mate with a little more fire!
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Bowser opened a fashion store. His best-selling item? Shell-toe sneakers!
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Bowser's castle has more security than a bank. I went there once to return his lawnmower, and it was like breaking into Fort Knox. Who knew a giant turtle had such valuable gardening equipment?
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I tried to set up Bowser on a blind date once. It didn't go well. The poor guy thought 'rescuing the princess' was a valid pickup line. I guess love isn't in the air when you're breathing fire.
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Bowser, the original overprotective parent. I mean, he kidnaps the princess every time Mario comes over. That's next-level 'meet the parents' intimidation!
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Bowser's got a tough exterior, but I heard he's a softie on the inside. I mean, he's always carrying that princess around. It's like the Mushroom Kingdom's version of a giant, fire-breathing teddy bear.
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Bowser's diet tip: if you want to stay in shape, just chase an Italian plumber around all day. Forget about Keto, it's the Bowser workout plan. Guaranteed to make you lose weight and breathe fire!
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You know you're in trouble when your boss is a giant turtle breathing fire. I asked Bowser for a raise once, and he threw me into a pit of lava. Turns out, employee benefits in the Mushroom Kingdom are a bit fiery.
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Bowser and I have something in common – we both hate plumbing issues. But while I call a plumber, he kidnaps one. It's a 'tortoise and the hare' situation, and he's definitely winning in the creativity department.
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Bowser's castle has more traps than my last relationship. I mean, at least he warns you with fireballs and giant axes. Dating red flags should come with such clear indicators!
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Bowser's got his own unique fitness routine – it's called 'chasing plumbers.' Forget about CrossFit; just try to catch Mario after he grabs a Super Mushroom. That's the real workout!
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