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You ever think about Bowser's dating life? I imagine it's tough finding love when your idea of a romantic gesture is stealing someone and hiding them in your castle. Maybe try Tinder, Bowser.
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Bowser must have a terrible job as a contractor. I mean, every time he builds a castle, Mario comes and smashes through the walls like it's made of cardboard. Maybe Bowser should consider a career change, like becoming a feng shui expert.
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Bowser's like the Wile E. Coyote of the Mario universe. No matter how elaborate his plans are, they always end up backfiring. Maybe he should take a note from Wile E. and order some Acme gadgets.
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You ever notice how Bowser, the big bad villain in Mario, always kidnaps Princess Peach? Dude, get a hobby! Maybe take up gardening or learn to play the accordion. Don't make kidnapping your full-time gig!
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Bowser must have a huge dry cleaning bill. I mean, every time he gets defeated, Mario throws him into the air, and he lands in that goopy black stuff. Dry cleaners in the Mushroom Kingdom must be making a killing off villains.
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I was playing Mario Kart the other day, and I couldn't help but wonder: Is Bowser driving the go-kart with his massive claws, or does he have a tiny set of steering wheels hidden somewhere in his castle? I need answers!
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I bet Bowser is terrible at family picnics. He's probably the dad who insists on grilling everything over an open flame, even if it's just marshmallows for s'mores. "Bowser, we have a perfectly good stove at home!
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Bowser probably has a hard time making friends. Imagine inviting someone over to your castle, and they have to navigate through fire-spitting statues and bottomless pits. It's a wonder he has anyone over for game night.
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You ever notice how Bowser never invests in proper security for his castles? I mean, Mario just waltzes in, jumps on a few turtles, and saves the day. Maybe Bowser should hire an actual security guard instead of relying on those Goombas.
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