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I asked a bodybuilder for workout advice, and he said, "Bro, you gotta feel the burn!" I tried it, but all I felt was the burn of embarrassment when I accidentally knocked over the yoga mats while attempting a downward dog.
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You ever notice how bodybuilders walk around the gym like they own the place? It's like they're on a safari, and the dumbbells are their majestic wild animals. "Look at the magnificent 50-pounder in its natural habitat!
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I saw a bodybuilder at the grocery store the other day, and he was checking the nutritional information on a protein bar. I thought, "Buddy, if you're that concerned about your protein intake, just flex at the cereal aisle and absorb the nutrients.
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Bodybuilders are the only people who can turn a simple stroll through the park into a full-on flexing competition. I swear, I saw one bench-pressing a park bench. Just in case it tried to escape, I guess.
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Bodybuilders have this intense stare when they look at themselves in the gym mirrors. It's like they're trying to communicate with their muscles telepathically, saying, "Come on, guys, let's grow!" I tried it, but my muscles just sent me a mental message saying, "We're on break, come back later.
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Bodybuilders always carry around those massive water jugs, like they're on a mission to hydrate the entire Sahara Desert. I tried lifting one once, and it was like doing bicep curls with a small car. Maybe they're training for the next "Water Jug Olympics.
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I tried going to the gym once, and I saw a bodybuilder lifting weights that I didn't even know existed. I asked him, "Are those weights or ancient hieroglyphics?" I mean, do they come with a Rosetta Stone for beginners?
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Have you ever seen a bodybuilder trying to discreetly scratch an itch in the middle of a conversation? It's like watching a contortionist at a flexing circus. I almost handed him a back scratcher and said, "You're gonna need this more than me.
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You know you're in a serious gym when the bodybuilders start naming the equipment. "This is Big Bertha, and over there is Arnold, the leg press machine." I'm just waiting for someone to introduce me to the treadmill as if it's their personal trainer.
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