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You ever been to a wedding where the DJ thinks they're auditioning for Coachella? I mean, it's a celebration of love, not a rave in Ibiza. I attended this wedding, and the DJ was treating it like a battle of the beats. The bride and groom had their first dance, and suddenly, the DJ decides it's time for a remix. I'm thinking, "Is this 'Till Death Do Us Part' or 'Till the Beat Drops'?" And don't get me started on those cheesy DJ announcements. The DJ starts saying, "Let's make some noise for the happy couple!" And you hear this awkward applause like we're all in a golf tournament. I'm just waiting for the DJ to say, "And now, let's get ready to rumbllleee!" It's a wedding, not WrestleMania!
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Have you noticed how DJs always have these mysterious and cool names? DJ Shadow, DJ Snake, DJ Milky Way or something. I tried to come up with my DJ name once, and let me tell you, it's not as easy as it sounds. I settled on DJ Awkward Silence because that's what happens when people ask me for song requests. But seriously, why do DJs always have to be so mysterious? You never see a DJ named DJ Bob, right? It's always something like DJ Quantum Frequency. I feel like if I were a DJ, my name would be DJ Procrastination because I'd keep putting off making up a cool name.
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You know, I've always admired DJs. They're like the musical wizards of the modern era. But have you ever thought about the tough decisions they have to make? I mean, they're standing there, controlling the vibe of the entire room. It's a lot of pressure. I was at a party the other day, and the DJ was doing his thing. The energy was high, everyone was dancing, and then he dropped a slow jam out of nowhere. I'm thinking, "Dude, we were in party mode! Now we're all slow dancing awkwardly. What happened to the beats?" It's like he hit the relationship crisis button or something.
And then there's the request line. Everyone thinks they're a DJ when they've had a couple of drinks. I saw this guy stumble up to the DJ booth, slurring his words, and yelling, "Play 'Despacito'!" I'm pretty sure he thought it was the magic spell to summon a good time. But seriously, can we have a moment of silence for all the DJs out there dealing with our questionable music tastes?
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I imagine being a DJ is like being in a musical confessional booth. People come up to you with their song requests, pouring out their hearts and souls. It's like they expect the DJ to be a musical therapist. "Can you play 'I Will Survive'? I just broke up with my goldfish." And the DJ has to nod like, "Yeah, I feel you, man." And have you ever seen a DJ's face when someone requests a song they absolutely hate? It's like they just bit into a lemon. You can see the internal struggle – "Do I play it and keep the party going, or do I pretend the request never happened?" It's the ultimate DJ dilemma.
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