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Bankers have a unique way of explaining things. I asked about a fee on my statement, and they said, "It's like a membership fee for being part of the banking experience." Well, I didn't realize banking was a subscription service with hidden fees.
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I love how bankers call it a "savings account," but every time I check mine, I feel like I'm saving for a yacht in my dreams. Maybe it's more like a "daydreams account.
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The bank's customer service hotline is like a maze. You navigate through endless options, and just when you think you've reached a human, it turns out to be a recorded message saying, "Your call is important to us, but not important enough for an actual person to talk to you right now.
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I asked the banker for financial advice, and they said, "Invest in stocks." So, I went to the supermarket and bought chicken, beef, and vegetable stock. Now I'm just waiting for my soup portfolio to take off.
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Have you ever tried to read the terms and conditions of your bank account? It's like they're written in a secret code only bankers and lawyers can decipher. I just scroll to the end and click "I agree," hoping I didn't just sign up for a lifetime supply of financial confusion.
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You ever notice how bankers are like weather forecasters? They're always predicting sunny financial days, but you end up stuck in a financial rainstorm without an umbrella.
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I went to the bank the other day, and the teller asked me to fill out a deposit slip. I'm sitting there with a pen, trying to act like I know what I'm doing, but honestly, I haven't filled out a deposit slip since the last time I played Monopoly.
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Bankers love to give you financial advice while you're standing in line, as if the perfect investment strategy can be discussed in the time it takes to fill out a deposit slip. "Just buy low and sell high!" Thanks, I'll add that to my list of profound insights.
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You ever notice how the bankers at the drive-thru window always have that cheerful, "I'd rather be anywhere else" smile? I half expect them to hand me my receipt with a side of, "Please leave, and have a financially responsible day.
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