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The Star-Crossed Astronomer
When your love life is as mysterious as the dark matter.
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Dating an astronomer is tough. Every time we have an argument, it feels like there's an eclipse in our relationship – a total communication blackout.
The Paranoid Astronomer
When you're convinced the aliens are just shy and avoiding you.
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My friends say I'm paranoid because I think aliens are monitoring us. I say, have you ever seen the way those stars blink? It's Morse code, I'm telling you!
The Lazy Astronomer
When you're passionate about the cosmos but also really enjoy naps.
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People ask me, "What's your favorite celestial body?" I say, "The comfy mattress under the night sky.
The Conspiracy Theorist Astronomer
When you believe the moon landing was fake, but your telescope is totally real.
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My telescope is so powerful; I can see the wrinkles on the moon's surface. Yet, somehow, NASA couldn't get a clear shot of the American flag on the moon? Something fishy is going on up there, and it's not just the lack of oxygen.
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