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Why did the architect break up with their pencil? It couldn't draw them closer!
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Why do architects always carry a pencil behind their ear? In case they need to draw a conclusion!
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Why did the architect carry a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the architect become a chef? They wanted to build a better soufflé!
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I asked an architect for a staircase design, and he handed me a 30-page thesis on the symbolic representation of ascending and descending in the human psyche. I just wanted to go from the living room to the bedroom, not on a philosophical journey!
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Architects, the only professionals who can make a straight line seem like an existential crisis. I asked one for a simple design, and he handed me a blueprint that looked like my life choices – confusing and full of unnecessary curves.
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Architects have this knack for making you feel intellectually inferior. I told one I wanted a house with a high ceiling, and he replied, 'Ah, yes, to accommodate the vastness of your aspirations.' I just wanted to install a cool chandelier, not contemplate the meaning of life!
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I told my architect I wanted a window with a view. He presented me with a frame and said, 'This captures the essence of limitless possibilities.' I live in a basement apartment; the only view I have is the neighbor's cat knocking over my trash cans.
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You know you're dealing with an architect when you ask for a door, and they present you with an abstract concept of 'portal transition experience.' I just wanted something to keep the pizza guy out, not a passage to another dimension!
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I recently hired an architect to build my dream house. He showed me the plans and said, 'This is your ideal home.' I looked at it and thought, 'My ideal home has more rooms and fewer existential questions, but sure, let's build a monument to my confusion.'
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I hired an architect to design a bathroom, and he said, 'Let's embrace the fluidity of spatial dynamics.' I didn't know whether to wash my hands or write a thesis on the essence of hygiene. Thanks, I'll stick to the soap and water, genius!
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Architects are like wizards of the construction world. You tell them your budget, and they magically make it disappear. 'Oh, you wanted marble countertops? How about we use this special concrete that mimics the existential angst of your bank account?'
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I tried playing Jenga with an architect once. Every time I pulled out a piece, he'd say, 'Ah, that's a load-bearing block, my friend.' Apparently, in architect Jenga, you're not just stacking blocks; you're engineering a skyscraper.
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