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Joke Types
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Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of not being appreciated!
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Why did the scarecrow appreciate the award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the book appreciate the movie? It wanted to see if the characters had the right cover story!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and couldn't help but appreciate its zest!
Appreciation vs. Grocery Shopping
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Grocery shopping is a great test of appreciation. I bought my friend's favorite snacks once, and they said, I appreciate it. Fast forward to me finishing their snacks, and suddenly they're all about, I thought you appreciated my friendship! Well, I did, until the chips ran out.
Appreciation Amnesia
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Ever help someone move, and after lugging their sofa up three flights of stairs, they hit you with, I appreciate it? I'm like, You appreciate it now, but where's that appreciation next time I conveniently forget I have a truck?
The Appreciation Scale
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I've developed my own scale for measuring appreciation. It goes from casual nod to polite smile all the way to full-blown confetti parade. If you're not hitting at least a polite smile, I question whether you truly appreciate my efforts.
Selective Appreciation
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You know, we live in a world where people are so selective with their appreciation. Like, I can spend hours cooking a meal for someone, and all I get is a casual thanks. But if I accidentally leave the toilet seat up, suddenly it's a crime against humanity. Where's the appreciation for my culinary skills?
The Appreciation Trap
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You ever notice how people always say, I appreciate it when they actually mean, Thanks, but I could have done without it? I held the door open for someone the other day, and they said, I appreciate it. I thought, Well, I appreciate your honesty about not needing my chivalry. Next time, I'll just let it slam in your face!
Appreciation Exaggeration
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People these days exaggerate their appreciation to another level. I lent my friend five bucks, and they said, I appreciate you, man. You're a financial wizard. I thought, Five bucks doesn't make me Warren Buffett; it just makes me a good friend in need of a cup of coffee.
The Unappreciated Laundry Hero
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I did my roommate's laundry as a surprise once, and you'd think I'd saved the world. They walked in, saw their folded clothes, and said, Oh, I appreciate it. I thought, You appreciate it? I should get a superhero cape for this, not a 'thanks' for separating your whites and darks!
Appreciation: The Millennial Edition
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Millennials have taken appreciation to a whole new level. We don't just appreciate things; we have to document it on social media. Just got a coffee. #Grateful #Blessed. I appreciate caffeine too, but you don't see me starting a hashtag for my morning cup of joe!
The Fake Appreciation Epidemic
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Have you noticed the epidemic of fake appreciation? People are throwing around I appreciate you like confetti. My boss told me, I appreciate your hard work. I'm like, Oh really? Show me the appreciation in my paycheck, not in empty words. I can't pay my bills with appreciation, Karen!
Appreciation Overdrive
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My friend's the worst. Every time I ask for a small favor, they go into this over-the-top appreciation mode. Oh, you need a ride to the airport? You're a lifesaver! I appreciate you so much! I'm just thinking, Calm down, it's not like I'm flying the plane. I just need a lift, not a Nobel Prize nomination!
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