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Going to the doctor feels like participating in a secret society. You sit in the waiting room exchanging subtle nods with other patients, acknowledging the unspoken truth that we're all here trying to figure out what's making that weird noise in our bodies.
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Going to the emergency room is like entering a parallel universe. Time works differently there. You think you've been waiting for an hour, but according to the clock on the wall, it's been three days and you've aged a year.
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The cost of healthcare is so high; I'm starting to think my doctor went to medical school just to afford medical school. It's like a financial version of the circle of life – pay for education, charge for medical services, repeat.
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You ever notice how waiting rooms at the doctor's office have the most outdated magazines? I'm pretty sure I saw a National Geographic from the '90s last time. I was half expecting to find an article on "The Internet: The Next Big Thing.
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Why do prescription drug commercials have to list a million side effects? I took a headache pill once and suddenly knew how it felt to be a contestant on a game show. "Congratulations! You may experience nausea, dizziness, and the urge to tap dance.
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Hospitals have the weirdest temperature control. It's like they're conducting a social experiment to see how many patients can knit their own blankets from the hospital gowns before they finally turn up the heat.
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Ever noticed how pharmacies put the over-the-counter medications right next to the prescription pickup? It's like they're saying, "Feel free to self-diagnose, but if things get serious, we're here with the heavy artillery.
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The paperwork at the doctor's office is like a pop quiz on your own life. "Do you have a family history of heart disease?" I don't know, doc, my family can't even agree on pizza toppings.
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Insurance companies are like magicians. They make your money disappear and then, poof, reappear as a statement saying, "You owe us more." I'm just waiting for them to pull a rabbit out of my deductible.
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