5 Jokes For Absolutely

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Mar 31 2025

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The Gym

Going to the gym is absolutely exhausting.
The gym mirrors are so deceiving. I look at myself lifting weights and think, "I could probably bench press a car." In reality, I struggle to lift my gym bag.

Office Coffee Maker

The office coffee maker is absolutely terrible.
I don't trust the office coffee anymore. Last time I drank it, my watch started ticking backward, and I swear I saw dinosaurs outside the window.

Social Media

Social media is absolutely time-consuming.
I spent so much time on social media that my houseplants staged an intervention. They said, "If you watered us as much as you scroll, maybe we wouldn't be wilting.

Grocery Store Self-Checkout

The grocery store self-checkout is absolutely frustrating.
I accidentally scanned an avocado as a watermelon once. Now, every time I enter the store, the cashier gives me a suspicious look, and the avocados whisper, "Here comes the watermelon guy.

GPS Navigation

GPS navigation can be absolutely confusing.
GPS directions are like a magic trick. You follow the instructions, and suddenly, you've turned the wrong way, and your destination has vanished like a rabbit in a hat.

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