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What do you call absinthe that tells the best stories? A fantastic yarn-spinner!
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What's the absinthe's favorite movie genre? Mystical spirits and twists!
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Absinthe should come with a warning label: 'May cause impromptu interpretative dance and a sudden urge to reevaluate your career choices.'
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Absinthe is the only drink that makes you think you're an undiscovered poet. I wrote a haiku after a glass: 'Green liquid swirls, regrets bloom like flowers, why did I do this?'
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Absinthe: the beverage equivalent of pressing 'skip' on your responsible adult life. I had a glass, and suddenly bills were just colorful pieces of paper.
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Absinthe is the rebellious teenager of the liquor cabinet. You tell it to mix responsibly, and it just throws a fit and turns everything green.
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Absinthe: The only drink that makes you question not just your life choices, but your taste buds too. I took a sip, and suddenly my tongue wanted a restraining order.
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I tried absinthe once; now I understand why Van Gogh cut off his ear. I'm just surprised he didn't go for the taste buds first.
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Absinthe is like a breakup in a bottle. You start with a shot, and by the end of the night, you're sobbing into a pizza, wondering where it all went wrong.
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You know you're in trouble when your night starts with absinthe. It's like the liquor store's way of saying, 'Hey, let's not remember any of this.'
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Absinthe is like that friend who insists on telling you the 'real' ending of a movie. You didn't ask for it, and now you wish you could un-know it.
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