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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning!
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What did the fetus say to the ultrasound technician? 'I've got this under wraps!
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Why did the abortion clinic start offering delivery services? Because they wanted to bring out the unexpected!
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Why did the fetus go to school early? It wanted to be ahead in the womb-works!
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What did the embryo say to the sperm? 'You're a real pushy neighbor, aren't you?
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What's an aborted fetus's favorite game? Tag – you're it for a short while!
Coupon Code 'NoBabyNoCry'
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Abortions are like using a coupon code for life – 'NoBabyNoCry.' I mean, who knew life had discount offers? Enter promo code 'ParenthoodEscape' at the checkout, and voila, your cart is empty, and your bank account is intact.
The Parenthood 'Undo' Button
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Abortions are essentially the undo button for the ultimate 'oops' moment. It's like life's way of saying, Are you sure you want to save these changes? Yes/No. And you're there furiously clicking 'No' like your life depends on it.
The 'Oops, I Did It Again' Chronicles
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Abortions are like the sequel to the classic hit, Oops, I Did It Again. Life's just out here, Britney-style, making mistakes and then going, Oops, let's do a retake. I'll get it right next time. It's the only time in life where 'again' isn't so reassuring.
Life's Unsubscribe Button
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You ever notice how people talk about abortions like they're canceling a subscription? Yeah, I signed up for this whole 'parenthood' thing, but turns out, I'd like to unsubscribe, please. I mean, imagine if life had an 'abort mission' button for all our regrettable decisions. Oops, I ordered pineapple on pizza. Abort, abort!
Parenting: The Real Unplanned Parenthood
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Abortions are the solution to unplanned parenthood. Because let's be honest, most of us are just winging it through this whole parenting thing. It's like, Whoa, I didn't sign up for this! Quick, let's hit Ctrl+Z on life and start over.
The Pregnancy Exit Interview
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Abortions are like the exit interviews for unborn babies. Can you imagine if they could talk? So, why did you choose not to proceed with the pregnancy? And you're there like, Well, I read the reviews, and parenting didn't seem like a five-star experience.
The Parenthood Escape Room
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Abortions are like the ultimate escape room experience. You walk in thinking you're going to be a parent, and halfway through, you find the emergency exit labeled 'Abortion.' It's the only escape room where you can opt-out and still get a refund.
Birth Control: The Procrastinator's Guide
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Abortions are like the ultimate form of procrastination. It's like saying, I had nine months to prepare for this project, but I think I'll just cancel it last minute. It's the birth control plan for the eternal procrastinator – the only plan where you literally wait until the last moment to pull out.
The Reverse Stork Delivery
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Abortions are like returning a package to the stork. You know, the stork shows up at your door, ready to deliver this precious bundle of joy, and you're like, Nah, take it back. I ordered a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.
The Pregnancy GPS
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Abortions are like recalculating your life's GPS. You were headed toward 'Parentville,' and suddenly your internal Siri goes, Rerouting! Make a U-turn when possible. I can imagine life's GPS saying, In 500 feet, make a hard left into the clinic. Congratulations, you've reached your destination: Parenthood Avoided.
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