10 Jokes About Abortions

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Dec 23 2024

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You know, we live in a world where we can track our pizza delivery in real-time, but when it comes to the stork bringing babies, it's all hush-hush. I want a tracking number for my future responsibilities!
You know, there's a lot of debate about when life begins. Is it at conception? Is it at birth? I think life begins the moment you start Googling baby names.
You ever think about how parents can be so excited about a baby and then, a few years later, they're desperately trying to find the receipt? "Uh, we'd like to return this... it's louder than expected.
I heard someone say that parenting is the hardest job in the world. Well, I'd argue that choosing the right wifi password is a close second. At least with parenting, you can eventually send them to their room.
I was at the pharmacy the other day, and they had pregnancy tests right next to the condoms. Talk about product placement! It's like, "Hey, pick your poison – aisle 3.
Have you ever thought about how people announce pregnancies versus when they decide to go the other way? It's like, "We're expecting!" versus "We're returning this bun to the oven. It's not quite ready.
You ever notice how the word "abortions" just sounds so... clinical? Like, "Sorry, we had to abort the mission." I mean, they couldn't come up with a more subtle term? "Operation Tummy Troubles" perhaps?
The other day, someone asked me if I'm pro-choice or pro-life. I said, "I'm pro not having an opinion when I just came here for a comedy show." Can we get back to discussing the mysteries of the TV remote, please?
So, I was reading about abortion laws the other day. It's like trying to navigate a complicated board game. "Roll the dice to see if you can pass Go and collect 200 reasons not to have a kid.
Abortion clinics should have loyalty cards. "Congratulations! Your 10th visit gets you a free coffee. Because, let's be honest, you could use one after those awkward conversations.

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