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A friend is like a human clickbait. They start with, "You won't believe what happened!" And you're there thinking, "I probably will believe it, but go on.
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You know, a friend is the real-life spoiler alert. They'll drop hints about upcoming events in your life like they're leaking the script of the next blockbuster movie. "Big things are happening for you soon." Can I get a spoiler-free version, please?
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I love how a friend is the master of the vague statement. They'll be like, "You know that thing we were talking about?" No, I don't know. We talk about a lot of things. It's like playing detective with someone who doesn't want to give away spoilers.
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A friend has a PhD in the art of vaguebooking. Their social media posts are like encrypted messages. "Feeling betrayed today..." Oh, really? By whom? Your toaster?
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You ever notice how a friend has this magical ability to make any situation sound like a soap opera? "So, I was at the grocery store, and you won't believe who I ran into. Drama in aisle five, my friend.
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One thing about a friend , they're like a human mood ring. You can tell how their day went based on their level of drama. "So, today was a one-tissue day," you say. "Oh, no, what happened?" they ask, ready for a front-row seat to the emotional rollercoaster.
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Finally, let's give it up for a friend who turns every ordinary story into a cinematic experience. "I went to the post office today." And suddenly, you're on the edge of your seat, waiting for the plot twist involving stamps and envelopes.
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You ever notice how every time someone says, "I was talking to a friend," it's like the Bat-Signal for drama? It's never, "I was talking to a friend about our favorite sandwich fillings." No, it's always, "I was talking to a friend about the scandalous love triangle in our social circle.
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A friend is the unsung hero of every secret mission. They can keep secrets so well; you'd think they went to spy school. You tell them something, and it's safer than a vault. But let's not talk about the one time they accidentally spilled the beans at a family reunion.
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