4 Jokes For 711

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 22 2024

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So, I recently moved to a new apartment building, and it's got this fancy elevator system. But there's a catch - you need a secret code to use it. And guess what the code is? Yep, you guessed it - 711. I feel like I'm entering a top-secret government facility every time I want to go home. "Agent Smith, what's the code?" "711, sir." I half-expect a voice to say, "Access granted" after I punch it in.
But here's the thing, the elevator doesn't always work smoothly. It's like a game of chance. Sometimes it opens immediately, and you feel like a VIP. Other times, you're standing there, entering 711 repeatedly, and the elevator is playing hard to get. I'm starting to think they programmed it to mess with us. It's like, "Oh, you want to go up? Let's see if you can crack the code first.
So, I got a mysterious message from an unknown number the other day. It just said, "711." No explanation, no context. Just those three digits. I thought I was in a spy movie or something. I started imagining a secret mission involving me, a briefcase, and a rendezvous at the nearest convenience store.
I texted back, "What's 711?" and they replied, "Oh, sorry, wrong number." Wrong number? That's not a wrong number; that's a secret code! Now I'm left wondering if I missed out on a chance to join an exclusive club or save the world. Maybe 711 is the new Illuminati, and they accidentally recruited me. So if you see me at a convenience store looking suspicious, just know I might be on a top-secret mission, or I'm just really craving a Slurpee.
Late-night snacking is a dangerous game, isn't it? I found myself craving some snacks, so I headed to the nearest 24-hour convenience store. Guess what the address was? 711, of course. It's like the universe is telling me, "You're about to make some questionable life choices."
But here's the thing about 711 at midnight - it's a different world. You walk in, and it's like a scene from a sci-fi movie. The flickering fluorescent lights, the hum of the refrigerators, and the guy in the corner aisle debating between potato chips or pretzels like it's the most critical decision of his life. And don't get me started on the cashier judging your snack choices at 2 am. "Oh, going for the double chocolate donuts? Rough night, huh?
Hey, everyone! So, I had a real showdown with my computer the other day. I called tech support, and you know what they did? They gave me a number: 711. Yeah, that's right, 711. I felt like I was trying to order a Slurpee or something. I mean, my computer is freezing up, and they're giving me the code to the snack aisle. I asked, "Am I talking to IT or a vending machine specialist?" I mean, are they outsourcing tech support to the convenience store now?
You know you're in trouble when you call tech support, and instead of helping you, they sound like they're reading off a bingo card. "B4, sir? No? Okay, how about I7?" I'm just waiting for them to yell, "Bingo!" and hang up. Maybe that's their new strategy: confuse the customer until they give up and start playing bingo instead.

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