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I tried to impress my friends by telling them I have a 7-inch vinyl collection. Little did they know; it's just the records I accidentally left in the sun. Now, my 'greatest hits' sound more like 'greatest warps and scratches.' I guess my turntable is a time machine – it transports music back to the good ol' days of pops and hisses.
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They say good things come in small packages. I ordered a 7-inch pizza last night, and they weren't lying. It came in a box so tiny; I thought it was a pizza slice subscription service. One bite, and I felt like I was on a taste adventure – a really short, but delicious adventure.
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I went to buy curtains for my new apartment, and the store clerk asked, "What length do you need?" I confidently said, "7 inches." Suddenly, I realized that's more suitable for keeping out sunlight from a dollhouse than an actual living room. Let's just say I've got very exposed windows.
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I got a 7-inch plant for my desk to bring some nature into the office. Now, it sits there, silently judging me every time I forget to water it. It's like having a tiny green coworker who's just waiting for the moment to say, "I told you so.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about kitchen appliances. I got this 7-inch chef's knife the other day, and now I feel like a culinary ninja. I'm chopping onions so fast; they don't even have time to make me cry. Forget about karate, my new skill is 'kitchen-fu.
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You ever notice how screens are getting bigger and bigger? I bought a new TV the other day, and the thing is a whopping 75 inches. I'm starting to feel like I'm running my own personal IMAX theater in my living room. But then there's my phone with its 7-inch screen, and suddenly I'm watching blockbuster movies on what feels like a postage stamp. Hollywood, meet the thumb-sized hero!
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Have you ever seen those miniature cooking videos online where they make tiny meals using a 7-inch pan? I tried that at home. Turns out, cooking a regular-sized egg in a mini-pan just makes it look like a sunny-side-up quail egg. Breakfast is served – in dollhouse portions.
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I recently got a 7-inch tablet, thinking it would be perfect for reading e-books. Turns out, it's also perfect for losing in the black hole that is my couch. I spend more time searching for that thing than actually reading. It's like my tablet has mastered hide and seek, and I'm the eternal seeker.
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I got a 7-inch notepad to jot down all my brilliant ideas. Problem is, my ideas seem to have outgrown the notepad. Now, I'm playing a game of 'which genius thought do I sacrifice for the new one?' Spoiler alert: the notepad is losing.
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