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Joke Types
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Why did the public health worker bring a mirror to the hospital? To reflect on their health, of course!
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Why did the virus apply for a job? It wanted to go viral in the professional world!
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Why did the public health officer become a chef? They wanted to 'cook' up some healthy solutions!
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Why did the public health person bring a ladder to work? Because they heard the germs were spreading!
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Why did the public health expert become a comedian? They wanted to 'spread' laughter and vaccines at the same time!
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Why did the bacteria go to therapy? It had too many issues with attachment!
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Why did the public health person bring a pencil to the meeting? In case they needed to 'graph' the spread of laughter!
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Why did the public health expert become a gardener? They wanted to help people 'grow' old healthily!
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Why did the virus go to school? It wanted to improve its 'spread'-ing skills!
Public Health People
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Public health people are so obsessed with hygiene, they probably sanitize their sanitizer. I saw one with a hand sanitizer holster, like they're the sheriff of germ town. They shake your hand, and you can bet there's an immediate mental calculation happening: Okay, how many hours until I can wash this off without being rude?
Public Health People
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You ever notice how public health people always act like they've got the secret to eternal life? They're like the health ninjas of society. I saw one the other day, and I swear, they move through the grocery store aisles like they're on a mission to save the world. Meanwhile, I'm over here debating whether to buy kale or potato chips. They're making us feel guilty for the cookies in our cart like they're the snack police.
Public Health People
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Public health people have this uncanny ability to make you feel guilty about enjoying your food. I was savoring a piece of chocolate, and one of them swooped in like a sugar detective. Do you know how much sugar is in that? they asked. I replied, Enough to make me forget I ever met you.
Public Health People
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Public health people are the only folks who can turn a casual conversation about the weather into a lecture about vitamin D deficiency. You mention a little rain, and suddenly, they're diagnosing you with a sunshine-deprivation disorder. I didn't know weather chit-chat required a medical degree! Next time I'll just say, I'm under a cloud embargo, doc!
Public Health People
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You ever notice how public health people are the only ones who can make counting steps feel like an extreme sport? I tried to impress one once by telling them I walk 10,000 steps a day. They looked at me like I just climbed Mount Everest with a pedometer. Newsflash: my Fitbit thinks I'm a superhero; my pizza delivery guy, not so much.
Public Health People
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You know you're in the presence of public health people when even your sneezes are put under a microscope. I sneezed once, and they asked me if it was allergic rhinitis or infectious rhinitis. I was like, It's just 'bless you' rhinitis – can we not turn this into a medical drama, please?
Public Health People
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Public health people are the only folks who can turn a walk in the park into a lecture on the benefits of nature. I was enjoying some fresh air, and one of them appeared out of nowhere, armed with statistics on reduced stress levels and improved immune function. I just wanted to feed the ducks, not attend a TED Talk on the therapeutic benefits of quacking.
Public Health People
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Public health people love to preach about the benefits of a good night's sleep. They act like sleep is a magical elixir that cures everything. I told one I stay up late watching cat videos, and they looked at me like I just confessed to robbing a bank. You need to prioritize your REM cycles! they exclaimed. I'm just here trying to prioritize my cat's cuteness cycles, okay?
Public Health People
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Public health people and their obsession with water! They act like hydration is the answer to all of life's problems. I told one I drink eight glasses a day, and they acted like I just revealed the secret to eternal youth. Newsflash: I'm still waiting for my superhero cape to arrive.
Public Health People
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Public health people love to make everything a crisis. I called one for advice on flu season, and they treated it like I was asking for the cure to a zombie apocalypse. Step 1: barricade all windows, step 2: stockpile hand sanitizer, and step 3: abandon all hope for a handshake ever again. I just wanted a flu shot, not a survivalist handbook!
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