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Joke Types
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I got promoted to be the manager of a paper factory. Now I'm in charge of reams and reams of responsibility!
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I got promoted to be the captain of a submarine. Now I'm officially a sub-ordinate!
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I got promoted to be the head of a gardening club. Now I'm the root of all power!
Promotion Perks
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I asked HR about the perks that come with my promotion, and they said, Well, now you have a better view from your new office. Little did they know, my favorite view was the one from my couch watching Netflix. Now I just have a better view of Karen's weird desk decorations.
Office Politics 101
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Getting a promotion is like entering a whole new level of office politics. Now, instead of just avoiding Brenda from accounting in the breakroom, I have to avoid her in the boardroom, the hallway, and apparently in my dreams, because that woman is everywhere!
The Cubicle Climb
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Getting a promotion is like climbing the corporate ladder. And let me tell you, it's a ladder made of spaghetti – wobbly, confusing, and occasionally covered in tomato sauce. Also, I'm pretty sure someone ate a meatball on the third rung.
The Unofficial Promotion Handbook
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I wish there was a handbook for promotions. Chapter one: How to smile and nod when your boss explains your new duties. Chapter two: Pretend to understand the corporate jargon. Chapter three: Master the art of looking busy while actually scrolling through memes on your computer. Welcome to the world of promotions!
Promotion Problems
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They said with great power comes great responsibility. I say with a promotion comes great confusion. I'm still trying to figure out what half the buttons on my new office phone do. I accidentally ordered lunch for the entire floor. Sorry, everyone, enjoy your surprise sandwiches!
The Perks of Power
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With a promotion, they said I'd have more power. The only power I've discovered so far is the ability to delegate tasks to my intern. And by delegate, I mean ask politely while crossing my fingers.
Promotion Celebration
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They threw a party for me after the promotion. I walked into the conference room, and there was cake, balloons, and my coworkers clapping. I felt like a celebrity until I realized the cake was store-bought, the balloons were leftovers from someone's birthday, and the clapping was more like sarcastic golf applause.
Promotion Expectations
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They told me with the promotion comes more responsibility. I thought they meant important stuff, but it turns out, they just wanted me to be in charge of ordering the office supplies. I'm now the reigning king of sticky notes and paper clips.
Job Title Madness
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I got a promotion recently, and they gave me a new job title that's so fancy, I had to Google it. Turns out, I'm the Associate Vice President of Extended Coffee Breaks. Finally, a title that truly represents my skills!
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