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You guys ever think about Professor X from the X-Men? I mean, this guy has the most powerful brain on the planet, can read minds, control people, but he's constantly dealing with these telepathic headaches. I'm like, "Dude, you can move things with your mind, but Advil is too advanced for you?" I imagine him in the middle of a battle, just clutching his head, and the X-Men are like, "What's wrong, Professor?" And he's like, "It's just a migraine, Jean, nothing to worry about. I can control minds, but apparently, I can't control my own brain."
You know you've got problems when even your superpowers are giving you a headache. Maybe he needs a sidekick who's just a walking pharmacy, like, "Don't worry, Professor, I got your Tylenol right here.
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Professor X is always like, "I can read your mind! I know everything!" But you never see him using that information for anything practical. I mean, if I had that power, I'd be the world's best negotiator. Imagine him at the car dealership, "I sense you were going to charge me extra for the leather seats. Not today, my friend." Or at the doctor's office, "You were going to give me the cheap band-aid, weren't you? Nice try, but Professor X sees all."
But no, he just uses it for superhero stuff. "I sense Magneto is up to something." How about you sense the winning lottery numbers for once, Professor? Priorities, man!
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So, Professor X can read minds, right? I bet he's terrible at small talk. Imagine meeting him at a party, and he's like, "Ah, I sense you like cats." And you're like, "Uh, yeah, but how did you..." And he's like, "Mind-reading, my friend. Mind-reading." It must be awkward for him, knowing everyone's secrets. Like, he meets Wolverine, and he's probably thinking, "This guy has a deep love for bubble baths and kittens. Who knew?"
And what about dating? How do you go on a date when you already know what the other person is thinking? "I sense you're wondering if this is going well. Yes, it is, but now I know you're thinking about what to order for dessert, and honestly, it's ruining the mood.
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I've been thinking about Professor X's mind-reading abilities, and I can't help but wonder if he uses them for really mundane stuff. Like, does he go to a restaurant and read the chef's mind to steal the secret recipe? "Ah, that's how they make the garlic butter sauce!" And what about exams? If he's a professor, does he just stroll into the exam room and casually read everyone's answers? "Sorry, Timmy, but 'C' is not the right answer. Better luck next time."
I bet his friends can't even surprise him with a birthday party. "Hey, Professor, we're throwing you a surprise party!" And he's like, "Yeah, I knew about it three weeks ago. Nice try, though.
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