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Did you hear about Professor X's cooking class? He made a mean 'brain' food!
Mutant Parenting Tips
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I wonder what it's like for mutant parents. Honey, our kid can shoot lasers from his eyes. Oh great, now we need laser-proof curtains. Mutant parenting must be a challenge. Imagine telling your kid to clean their room, and they just telekinetically throw everything into the closet. That's some next-level parenting.
X-Men Meetings
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I heard the X-Men have regular meetings. I can only imagine the drama. Storm complaining about the weather, Wolverine getting upset because someone ate his last slice of pizza, and Professor X just sitting there, thinking, I really need a vacation from these mutants.
Mind Games with Professor X
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You ever notice how Professor X from the X-Men can read minds? I mean, come on, that's a serious invasion of privacy. Imagine having him at a poker game. You're just trying to bluff, and he's like, Nice try, Bob, but I know you're holding a two and a seven! It's like playing cards with a psychic IRS agent.
Cerebro: The Ultimate GPS
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Professor X has this incredible device called Cerebro that can locate any mutant on the planet. I wish I had that for my car keys. I spend more time searching for those things than he does finding mutants. Cerebro, where are my keys? And it replies, In the couch cushions, where they've been for the past three days.
Professor X's Bald Brotherhood
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You ever notice how Professor X and Professor Picard from Star Trek are both bald? I think there's a secret society of powerful bald guys plotting to take over the world. Maybe they have a secret handshake, or maybe it's just a really intense game of rock-paper-scissors to decide who gets to be the supreme bald leader.
Professor X's Dating Advice
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I heard Professor X gives dating advice to the X-Men. I can imagine him saying, Remember, when you're on a date, don't read their minds unless they give you permission. And for the love of mutants, don't use mind control to get a goodnight kiss. Consent, people, consent! I guess even telepaths need a lesson in romance.
Professor X's Job Fair
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I heard Professor X is organizing a mutant job fair. Now, that's a unique event. Can you imagine the job interviews? So, what's your superpower? I can turn invisible. Well, we're hiring for security, not hide-and-seek champions, Karen!
Mutant Supermarket Shopping
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I bet grocery shopping with mutants is a trip. Jean Grey using telekinesis to reach the top shelf, Nightcrawler teleporting to the checkout line to avoid waiting, and Magneto using his powers to create the perfect magnetic shopping cart. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to find the express checkout lane.
Professor X's Wheelchair Tricks
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Professor X has this high-tech wheelchair that can do all sorts of things. It's like the Swiss Army knife of wheelchairs. I bet he has secret buttons for popcorn dispensers and a built-in karaoke machine. I want a wheelchair like that. The only thing my chair does is make squeaky noises at the most inappropriate times.
X-Men Team Building Exercises
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I heard the X-Men do team-building exercises. Can you imagine playing trust falls with Wolverine? Logan, just fall backward, I'll catch you. And he's like, No way, bub, last time someone dropped me, it took a week to grow my arm back. Team building with mutants is like herding cats, if the cats could shoot lasers from their eyes.
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