7 Jokes About Probability

One Liners

Updated on: Aug 14 2025

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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I told my friend a joke about probability. But I'm not certain if he got it.
I told my teacher I'll toss a coin to decide my answer. She said, 'You can't do that!' I said, 'Sure, heads I do, tails I don't.
I asked my friend what the chances were that he'd lend me a book on probability. He said, 'Fat chance!' I guess that means he's got a heavy reading schedule.
Two statisticians walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey, you both ordered the same drinks last time. What are the odds?
I'm so good at probability, I can make a coin land on its side. Well, maybe not all the time – more like 50/50.
I thought about telling a joke about infinity, but it never seemed to end!

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