10 Jokes For Prison Guard

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 20 2025

cancel
Rating
Sort By:
Ever think about the awkward family dinners a prison guard must have? "So, honey, how was your day?" "Oh, you know, the usual. Stopped a prison break, confiscated a homemade knife, and made a new friend named 'Tiny.'
It must be weird for a prison guard to hear someone say, "I feel trapped," and think, "Well, you have no idea.
You ever notice how prison guards have the most secure jobs? I mean, they're literally paid to ensure no one escapes. Meanwhile, I can't even keep my socks from disappearing in the laundry.
I bet prison guards have the best poker faces. I mean, they've probably seen inmates try every trick in the book. "Sir, I'm pretty sure that's not really your grandmother on the phone asking for bail money.
Have you ever thought about how prison guards must be the best listeners? Not because they want to, but because they have to. "Yes, Dave, I understand you don't like your cellmate's snoring. Now, can you please stop trying to bribe me with homemade cookies?
I bet prison guards are the kings and queens of dad jokes. Imagine them at a BBQ: "Hey, want to hear a construction joke?" "Sure." "Sorry, I'm still working on it.
I wonder if prison guards ever get tired of saying, "I've got my eye on you." I mean, after a while, it must lose its dramatic effect, especially when they're just talking to their kids about finishing their homework.
I bet being a prison guard is like living in a real-life game of chess. Every move has consequences, and you're always trying to stay three steps ahead. "If I move my knight to block the hallway, will the rook (or, in this case, the rookie) try to outsmart me?
You know you've been around prison guards too long when you start instinctively counting your friends before leaving a room. "One, two, three... okay, we're all here!
You ever think about the training for prison guards? "Okay, first rule: always expect the unexpected. Second rule: forget everything you know about personal space.

Post a Comment


How was your experience?
0 0 reviews
5 Stars
(0)
4 Stars
(0)
3 Stars
(0)
2 Stars
(0)
1 Stars
(0)

Topic of the day

Go-somewhere
Jun 20 2025

0
Total Topics
0
Added Today