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Presidents Day, the day we celebrate the leaders of our nation by standing in line for hours to buy discounted electronics. I can hear Abe Lincoln now, "Four score and seven percent off on flat-screen TVs? Count me in!
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Have you ever tried explaining Presidents Day to someone from another country? "So, we honor our leaders by buying discounted furniture." It's like, "Ah, yes, very patriotic. In my country, we just have a parade.
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You know, Presidents Day is the only time you'll see a family debating the merits of a sectional sofa in the same conversation as the Founding Fathers. "Well, Thomas Jefferson did say, 'Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of recliners.'
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I like to think that the Founding Fathers would be proud of us on Presidents Day. "We fought for independence, and now our legacy is a nation of people debating whether to get a California King or a Queen.
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You ever notice how Presidents Day is the one day a year when everyone turns into a history buff? "Oh yes, I remember studying the Emancipation Proclamation in school. That's why I bought a new toaster today.
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Presidents Day is the day when we honor those who led our nation by scoring major discounts on appliances. If George Washington were alive today, he'd probably be on a cooking show endorsing the latest air fryer.
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I was at the mall on Presidents Day, and every store had a sale. Even the pet store! I'm not sure what our furry friends have to do with presidential history, but I guess Fido deserves a discounted chew toy for supporting democracy.
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You ever notice how Presidents Day is like the Black Friday of mattress sales? I mean, I don't remember Abraham Lincoln being famous for his love of a good night's sleep. "Four score and seven pillows ago...
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Presidents Day is the one day a year when we remember all the great leaders and think, "You know what would honor their memory? A new set of sheets." I can almost hear George Washington saying, "I cannot tell a lie, these 1000-thread count linens are fantastic.
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