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The Overzealous Campaign Manager
Trying to convince people that Presidents Day is the perfect time to campaign for your favorite historical president.
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Campaigning on Presidents Day is tough. I tried handing out flyers at a parade, but everyone thought I was just giving away more useless political promises.
The Disgruntled History Teacher
Teaching about presidents on Presidents Day is as exciting as watching paint dry.
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Teaching about George Washington and the cherry tree on Presidents Day is like telling kids about Santa Claus and his flying sleigh on Christmas – a hard sell.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Believing that Presidents Day is a government plot to distract us from the real issues.
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You know it's a conspiracy when Presidents Day and National Toothache Day fall on the same date. I'm convinced they're trying to distract us with discounted dental floss.
The Time-Traveling Tourist
A tourist from the past or future experiencing the confusion of modern-day Presidents Day celebrations.
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I brought a president from the 1800s to witness Presidents Day today. He asked, "Where are the horse-drawn carriages?" I pointed to the electric scooters and said, "They upgraded.
The Unimpressed Kid
Presidents Day interferes with the fun, and kids couldn't care less about dead presidents.
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Presidents Day is the one day I wish my history book had a laugh track. Maybe then, learning about the 27th president's bathtub adventures would be entertaining.
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