4 Prek Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jan 08 2025

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Ah, snack time in Pre-K. A time of peace, right? Wrong! It's a battleground out there. I've seen kids negotiate snack trades like they're brokering million-dollar deals on Wall Street. "I'll give you half my apple slices for those goldfish crackers," they say, with the seriousness of a seasoned negotiator. And let's not forget the snack inspections! If your snack isn't organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, and blessed by a yoga instructor, you might as well have committed a culinary crime. Back in my day, snack time was a simple juice box and a cookie. Now? It's like navigating a dietary minefield.
I visited a Pre-K art exhibition the other day. Yes, you heard me right, an art exhibition. And let me tell you, it was an emotional rollercoaster. One painting looked like a Jackson Pollock masterpiece, and I'm thinking, "Did Timmy just out-Pollock Pollock?" But then, right next to it, was a canvas with what looked like spaghetti glued onto it. And they're calling it "post-modern deconstructionism." I mean, give me a break! I remember when my biggest artistic achievement was not coloring outside the lines. Now, we've got four-year-olds challenging the very fabric of contemporary art!
Have you seen the fashion shows these Pre-K kids put on? I swear, every morning drop-off feels like I'm walking the red carpet at a mini Met Gala. Little Sofia is rocking her tutu like she's about to grace the cover of Vogue. And don't get me started on little Liam with his sneakers that light up like a disco party. I mean, I was lucky if I got to wear mismatched socks and a shirt that wasn't inside out. These kids? They're trendsetters. I'm just waiting for one of them to drop their own fashion line.
You ever think about how they call it "Pre-K"? Like, it's supposed to be preparing kids for kindergarten, right? But let's be real. These kids are coming out of there acting like they're ready to take over the world. I mean, last time I checked, I wasn’t reading Tolstoy or solving quantum physics problems in kindergarten, but nowadays, little Timmy from Pre-K is explaining blockchain to me! I'm over here struggling to remember my passwords, and he's discussing decentralized currencies. Pre-K? More like Pre-CEO!

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