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I told my pratt it needed a job. Now it's working in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant – literally!
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What's a pratt's favorite type of math? Multiplication – they love to multiply and divide!
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I introduced my pratt to Shakespeare. Now it's a 'bard' pratt – it loves Hamlet and cheese!
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Why did the pratt become a comedian? Because it had a knack for cracking jokes!
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My pet pratt started a band. It's called 'The Rockin' Rodents' – they play mouse-ic!
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I told my friend a pratt joke, and he replied, 'That's cheesy but grate!
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Chris Pratt is like a real-life superhero – he can save the galaxy, wrangle dinosaurs, and probably fix a leaky faucet. I, on the other hand, struggle to assemble IKEA furniture without creating a modern art installation titled 'Chairnado.'
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Chris Pratt can ride motorcycles with raptors. I can't even ride a bicycle without looking like a confused flamingo on wheels. 'Pedal left, lean right, avoid that pothole!' It's a circus act, minus the applause.
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Chris Pratt is known for his comedic timing. I, on the other hand, once told a joke so poorly timed, even Siri gave me the silent treatment. If my life was a sitcom, it'd be called 'Awkward Pause: The Unfunny Chronicles.'
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Chris Pratt got in shape for Guardians of the Galaxy. I tried getting in shape once, but it turns out round is a shape. Who knew? Now I'm the proud owner of a dad bod without the kids or the dad part.
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Chris Pratt has that trademark charm, making every character he plays lovable. I, on the other hand, struggle to make my GPS stop recalculating every five seconds. Apparently, it doesn't appreciate my scenic route choices.
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Chris Pratt is in all these epic franchises – Marvel, Jurassic World. Meanwhile, I'm the star of the thrilling saga, 'Searching for My Keys: A Three-Act Tragedy.' Spoiler alert: they were in my pocket the whole time.
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Chris Pratt has this rugged, action-hero vibe. Meanwhile, I have a hard time opening a bag of chips without it exploding everywhere. If survival depended on my chip-opening skills, we'd all be extinct by now.
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Chris Pratt went from Parks and Recreation to fighting aliens and dinosaurs. I went from binge-watching Parks and Rec to fighting with my TV remote for the last piece of pizza. It's a battle, trust me.
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Chris Pratt, the only guy who can make training velociraptors look like a walk in the park. I tried training my cat once; it didn't end well. Turns out, cats don't respond to 'sit' and 'stay,' they respond to 'whatever, human.'
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