16 Posting Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Feb 09 2025

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I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and post videos online. Ears were too old-fashioned.
Why did the smartphone apply for a job? It wanted to be more 'app'-ealing.
Why did the document apply for a job? It wanted to get more 'file'-d experience.
I accidentally sent a heart emoji to my boss. Now I have a 'lovely' meeting scheduled.
I asked my computer to tell me a joke. It replied, 'You.
Why did the Instagram influencer become a gardener? Because they wanted to 'grow' their followers.

The Job Posting

So, I was scrolling through job postings the other day, you know, trying to find a career that matches my unique skill set: expert napper and world-class procrastinator. Found one that said, Looking for someone with strong leadership skills. I thought, well, if leading a Netflix marathon was a job, I'd be the CEO by now.

Team Building Exercises or Social Torture?

My office decided we needed some team-building exercises. They said it would strengthen our bonds. So, we went to an escape room. Nothing says team spirit like panicking together while locked in a small, dimly lit room. I'm not sure if we bonded, but I did learn Gary can pick locks.

The Coffee Maker Conspiracy

Our office got a fancy new coffee maker with a touchscreen. It's so high-tech; I think it's plotting against us. I approached it the other day, and it displayed, Unauthorized user. I thought, Okay, coffee maker, calm down. I just want a latte, not state secrets.

Email Chains, the Modern-Day Odyssey

Have you ever been stuck in a never-ending email chain? It's like the Odyssey, but instead of a heroic journey, it's just trying to organize a potluck lunch. Reply all if you're bringing chips. Do not reply all to say you don't like chips.

Resume vs. Reality

I recently updated my resume, and let me tell you, it's a work of fiction. My resume says I'm fluent in Spanish, but the reality is I can barely order a burrito without embarrassing myself.

Office Snack Drawer, the Real MVP

The office snack drawer is my favorite colleague. It's there for me when I need a pick-me-up or a distraction from actual work. I'm pretty sure I've had more conversations with that drawer than with my boss. Yeah, I'm thinking of going on a diet.

Dress for Success or Dress for a Nap?

They say dress for success, but I'm convinced success is just a well-dressed nap. I mean, have you ever tried power napping in a suit? It's like a business meeting with your dreams.

LinkedIn, the Dating App for Jobs

You ever notice how LinkedIn is like a dating app for jobs? I mean, they even have the endorsements section. Oh, you're good at public speaking? Well, can you speak publicly about why you're still single?

Job Interviews, the Ultimate Acting Audition

Job interviews are basically auditions, right? I go in there, smile like I just won the lottery, and pretend I've never had a conflict with a printer before. Oh, paper jams? I love them! Keeps me on my toes.

Cover Letters, the Art of Creative Writing

Writing a cover letter is like crafting a love letter to a company. Dear Hiring Manager, I've admired you from afar, and I think we'd make a perfect match. I promise to be loyal, hardworking, and occasionally bring in donuts on Fridays.

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