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Mary Poppins has a bottomless bag. I have a purse where things disappear forever. I put my keys in there, and suddenly they join the secret society of vanished items. They're probably having tea with Mary's chimney-sweep friend.
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Mary Poppins has a magic word to clean up. I've tried that with my messy room. Spoiler alert: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" doesn't work; it just makes the mess sound fancier.
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You ever notice how Mary Poppins is practically perfect in every way? Meanwhile, I struggle to find matching socks. I'm more like "Mary, where's my other sock? Can you magic that up, please?
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Mary Poppins sings while she works. I sing in the shower, and my shampoo bottles are my only audience. I'm pretty sure they're judging my song choices.
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Mary Poppins has a magical tape measure. I have a regular tape measure that always seems to vanish when I need it. Maybe I should hire Mary's tape measure for some DIY projects.
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Mary Poppins has talking animals. I talk to my pets, but all I get are judgmental looks. If my cat could talk, I imagine it would say, "You seriously expect me to believe that's tuna?
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Mary Poppins' umbrella takes her places. My umbrella just turns inside out when I'm walking down a windy street. It's less magical and more of a public embarrassment.
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Mary Poppins has magical medicine. I have over-the-counter meds that promise miracles. They're more like placebos with fancy packaging. I need Mary's medicine bag for flu season.
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Mary Poppins flies in with an umbrella. I tried that once, and let me tell you, I just ended up looking like a confused penguin trying to take flight. Umbrellas are not built for aerodynamics, Mary!
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