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You ever meet those people who just can't say no? I mean, they're like human doormats. I've got a friend, let's call him Dave, but I should probably call him "The Pleaser." This guy can't turn down anything. You ask him for a favor, and he's like a politician during an election year – promises everything and delivers... well, not much. Dave's the type of guy who, if you asked him to jump off a cliff, he'd be like, "Sure, do you prefer a somersault or a cannonball?" And you know he'd do it with a smile. I told him once, "Dude, you need to learn to say no." He said, "No problem!" See, that's the issue right there.
One day, I decided to test him. I asked him to help me move. Now, I live on the fifth floor, no elevator. Most people would've been like, "Hell no!" But not Dave. He showed up with a smile, a back brace, and a motivational playlist. We started calling him "The Human U-Haul." I even gave him a tip at the end, not in cash, but in a t-shirt that said, "I'm with Stupid." Because, well, you get the idea.
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I've been thinking about starting a support group for Pleasers – call it "Pleaser Anonymous." Picture it: a room full of people sitting in a circle, introducing themselves like, "Hi, I'm Dave, and I'm a Pleaser." The group would probably plan a fundraiser, and Dave would be in charge of setting up the tables and decorations. I can see the slogans now: "Just Say No... Sometimes." Or how about, "Putting the 'me' back in 'pleaser.'" We'd have a 12-step program, and step one would be learning to use the word "no" without breaking into a cold sweat.
But, you know what, despite all the craziness, we need Pleasers in our lives. They're the unsung heroes making the world go 'round, one overly enthusiastic "yes" at a time.
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So, you think being a Pleaser is all rainbows and sunshine? Not when it comes to dating, my friends. I tried setting Dave up on a blind date. I told him, "Just be yourself, but maybe sprinkle in a little self-respect." He shows up, and the girl's like, "So, what do you like to do for fun?" And Dave, with his Pleaser charm, goes, "Oh, whatever you like! I'm easy." She looked at him like he was a lost puppy. I asked him later how it went, and he said, "Great! We're going bungee jumping next week." Bungee jumping on the first date – that's not a date; that's a test of survival.
I told him, "Dave, you need to assert yourself a bit. Take charge!" The next date, he took her to a restaurant and said, "You pick the food, and I'll pick up the tab." Smooth, Dave, real smooth.
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You know you've got a real-life superhero when you've got a Pleaser in your life. I mean, move over Spider-Man, we've got Dave, The Pleaser. His superpower? Making everyone else feel incredibly lazy and unhelpful. I asked him once, "What's your secret, Dave?" He said, "It's simple – a crippling fear of disappointing people." Well, that's relatable. But hey, it works for him. He's like a human Swiss Army knife, ready for any task. Need someone to water your plants while you're away? Pleaser's got it covered. Want someone to proofread your novel about alien hamsters? Pleaser's on it, probably with a thesaurus and a red pen.
I've started giving him absurd challenges just to see if he'll say no. "Hey, Dave, can you juggle flaming bowling pins while riding a unicycle?" He didn't even hesitate – "Sure, I've been practicing." Who practices that?!
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