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The Inquisitive Therapist
When your physical therapist is more interested in your personal life than your muscle pain.
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My physical therapist should consider a career change to being a talk show host. Mid-stretch, she goes, "Let's discuss your goals for the next five years." Lady, my current goal is to make it through this session without collapsing.
The Time Traveling Therapist
When your physical therapist seems to be stuck in the '80s, using outdated equipment and exercise routines.
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My physical therapist insists on using ancient exercise equipment. Last week, I was on a stationary bike that could double as a museum exhibit. I'm pretty sure it's the same one they used on the Titanic to stay fit.
The Overenthusiastic Physical Therapist
When your physical therapist is more excited about your recovery than you are.
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I think my physical therapist moonlights as a motivational speaker. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "You're not just lifting weights; you're lifting the weight of your dreams." I'm just trying to lift my arm without wincing, lady.
The Silent Treatment Therapist
When your physical therapist is so quiet during sessions that you wonder if they're secretly a mime.
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My physical therapist communicates through nods and eyebrow raises. I asked him if I should push harder during my exercises, and he just raised an eyebrow. Is that a yes or are you just impressed with my pain tolerance?
The Chatty Cathys of Physical Therapy
When your physical therapists won't stop talking, and you're just trying to focus on not falling off the balance ball.
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My physical therapists are so talkative; I'm considering bringing a sign that says, "In Pain, Not in the Mood for Small Talk." I'm just here to work on my flexibility, not my ability to nod politely through a monologue.
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