bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know, I recently met this guy named Percy. Now, I'm not saying Percy is mysterious, but I've known him for a year, and I'm still not sure what his job is. I mean, seriously, every time I ask him, he gives me this sly smile and says, "I'm in 'business.'" What kind of business, Percy? Selling secrets to aliens? Running an underground penguin fighting ring? I don't know! And it's not just his job that's enigmatic. Percy has this uncanny ability to disappear at parties. You'll be talking to him one moment, turn around to grab some chips, and poof! Percy's gone. It's like he's mastered the art of ninja-level socializing. I'm starting to think he has a secret portal to another dimension or maybe a trapdoor he opens up and slides down like a secret agent.
But the real mystery is his relationship status. Is he single? Taken? In a complicated entanglement with a parallel universe? You can't get a straight answer from Percy. I asked him once, and he said, "Love is like a cloud. It sounds profound, but no one knows what it really means." Thanks, Percy. That clears it up.
0
0
So, Percy recently joined social media. I thought, "Great, he's finally catching up with the times." But then I saw his posts. He's the only person I know who still uses hashtags like they're going out of style. Percy, nobody's searching for #AwesomeSocks or #ILoveLamp in 2023. And his selfies? They're like abstract art. Half of his face is in shadow, and the other half looks like he's trying to wink but got something stuck in his eye. I suggested he use filters, and he said, "Why would I need filters? I want people to see the real me." Percy, I'm not sure the world is ready for the real you.
But the best part is his bio. It says, "Living life one day at a time." Percy, that's not a bio; that's a slogan for a motivational cat poster. I'm waiting for his next post to be a picture of a sunset with the caption, "Chasing dreams and eating tacos.
0
0
Let me tell you about Percy and technology. This guy is like a time traveler from the '90s who just landed in the 21st century. Last week, I caught him using a flip phone. A flip phone! I didn't even know they still existed. I asked him if he was being nostalgic, and he said, "Nah, I just like the satisfying snap when you close it." Percy, we have smartphones now. They're like flip phones, but with, you know, the entire internet. And don't get me started on his email etiquette. Percy still sends emails with "FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: LOL, you won't believe this" in the subject line. I'm worried that one day, he'll accidentally send an email to his boss with a cat video attached.
But the best part is Percy's relationship with emojis. He uses them like hieroglyphics. I received a text from him the other day, and it was just a thumbs-up emoji followed by a tornado emoji. What does that even mean, Percy? Are you excited about a storm, or did you accidentally send me your weather forecast?
0
0
I recently had dinner at Percy's place, and let me tell you, it was an adventure. Percy decided to cook, and I thought, "Great, a homemade meal!" Little did I know, Percy's idea of cooking is using every spice in the cabinet, whether it makes sense or not. I felt like I was eating a meal prepared by a mad scientist. He handed me a dish and said, "I call it 'Spicy Surprise.'" I took a bite, and my mouth was on fire. I asked him what the surprise was, and he said, "The surprise is that I can't feel my tongue either." I swear, Percy thinks a balanced meal is one where all five tastes are represented: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and regret.
But the pièce de résistance was when he tried to make a cake. He forgot the sugar, and when I asked him about it, he said, "I'm cutting back on sweets." Percy, there's a difference between cutting back and eliminating entirely!
Post a Comment