17 Jokes For Percy

Puns

Updated on: Nov 20 2024

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Why did Percy take a pencil to bed? In case he wanted to draw the curtains!
What did Percy say when he found out he could teleport? 'Well, that's a step in the right direction!
Percy opened a bakery that only sells burnt bread. He said it's his 'toast' to mediocrity!
Percy went to the bank and asked to check his balance. The teller pushed him. Percy was shocked!
What did Percy say to the procrastinator? 'I'll tell you tomorrow!
Percy tried to become a chef but got fired. He couldn't make the cut!
Why did Percy bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!

Percy, the Ghostly GPS

You ever notice how my GPS, let's call him Percy, has this passive-aggressive tone? It's like, In 500 feet, make a legal U-turn. If you can manage that, genius. I'm just waiting for Percy to start giving relationship advice. In 2 miles, apologize for leaving the toilet seat up. If you can remember that, Casanova.

Percy, the Ghostly Therapist

I think Percy is moonlighting as a therapist now. Every time I mess up, he's there, saying, In the next conversation, try not to mention your childhood trauma. It's not a first-date icebreaker. Percy, I don't need a ghostly shrink haunting my emotional baggage. I need a ghostbuster for my love life.

Percy's Haunted Housekeeping

Percy has become a spectral neat freak. He's like, In the next cleaning spree, try not to leave socks on the floor. Ghosts have standards, you know. I didn't know I was living with a ghostly Martha Stewart. I just want a haunt-free home, not a haunting reminder to vacuum.

Percy's Ghostly Diet Tips

Percy, my fitness guru ghost, is haunting my refrigerator. He's like, In the next aisle, consider buying vegetables. It's a wild concept, I know. I'm waiting for him to pop up at midnight and shame me for that late-night snack. Are you sure you need that ice cream? The only six-pack you're getting is in the freezer.

Percy's Paranormal Podcast

Percy started his own paranormal podcast. He's like, In the next episode, discuss the ghostly struggles of living with a human. Spoiler alert: It's a horror story. I didn't know my life was podcast-worthy, Percy. I just want a peaceful existence, not to be the star of the afterlife's hottest new show.

Percy's Ghostly Gamble

Percy is placing bets on my life choices now. He's like, In the next decision, bet on red. It worked for me in the 18th century. I didn't know I was part of Percy's ghostly gambling ring. I just want to live my life without making spectral bets. The stakes are too high, and not just because he's a ghost.

Percy's Ghostly Guidance on Fashion

Percy thinks he's Tim Gunn now, giving fashion advice from beyond the grave. He's like, In the next outfit choice, make it work. Because right now, it's not working. Thanks, Percy, but I don't need a ghostly makeover. I just want to leave the house without being haunted by the fashion police.

Percy, the Ghostly Chef

My ghostly roommate Percy is into cooking now. He's like, In the next recipe, add a pinch of love. Or at least salt, because your cooking needs it. Thanks, Percy, but I don't need culinary critiques from the afterlife. I just wanted a grilled cheese, not a ghostly Gordon Ramsay in my kitchen.

Percy, the Ghostly Matchmaker

Percy thinks he's Cupid, the ghostly matchmaker. He's like, Swipe right on the next profile. They can't be worse than your ex. Thanks, Percy, but I don't need spectral interference in my love life. I just want to find someone who won't ghost me as efficiently as you do.

Percy's Paranormal Pranks

Percy has taken up haunting as a hobby. He's like, In the middle of the night, make creepy noises. It's hilarious! Yeah, hilarious for Percy. Not so much for me, waking up in a cold sweat thinking my house is haunted. Thanks for the ghostly heart attacks, Percy.

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