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Joke Types
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the cell phone go to the doctor? It had a bad case of roaming charges!
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Why did the COVID-positive musician start a band? Because he had a good sense of taste in music!
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What do you call a person who brings hand sanitizer to a date? An antibacterial romantic!
Six Feet of Separation
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Social distancing has made dating a whole new challenge. I asked someone out recently, and they said, 'I can't, I'm practicing social distancing.' I said, 'How about a virtual date?' They replied, 'Great, I'll send you a hologram of me rolling my eyes.'
COVID Dreams
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I had a dream the other night that I was at a party, and no one was wearing masks. I woke up in a cold sweat, not from the dream, but because my subconscious violated COVID guidelines. Even my own brain can't follow the rules!
COVID Confessions
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You know you're in trouble when people start confessing things they did during quarantine. Yeah, officer, I did binge-watch the entire series, but in my defense, it was a matter of national importance. I was preventing the spread of COVID by staying on the couch.
DIY Health Check
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I tried one of those DIY health checks at home. According to my online diagnosis, I've had every disease known to man, except COVID. Apparently, the internet thinks my symptoms are just a side effect of being alive.
Pandemic Pet Peeves
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Pandemic pet peeves: You know what's worse than having COVID? The person who stands too close to you in the grocery line, as if the virus respects personal space. Back up, Karen; you're not getting my antibodies.
Home Alone: COVID Edition
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Living with someone who has COVID is like a real-life version of Home Alone. You're just there, setting up booby traps of hand sanitizers and face masks, hoping the virus slips and falls on its way to infect you.
Quarantine Achievements
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People talk about their quarantine achievements like they're Olympic medals. I baked bread, learned a new language, and conquered a thousand-piece puzzle. If there was a gold medal for avoiding productivity, I'd be an undisputed champion.
COVID Cuisine
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When you're stuck at home, your culinary skills become legendary. Yeah, I mastered the art of cooking during lockdown. My signature dish? 'Quarantine Surprise.' It's a surprise because even I don't know what's in it. Just hope it's not COVID.
Mask Confusion
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Wearing masks has turned us all into amateur detectives. I saw my neighbor with a mask, sunglasses, and a hat. I thought I was living next to a celebrity incognito. Turns out, it was just Bob from next door trying to avoid small talk.
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