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Have you ever noticed that people's stories get more elaborate with every retelling? It's like playing a game of telephone with a touch of creative writing. "I was stuck in traffic" turns into "I had an epic battle with a dragon on my way to work.
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People lie about their height on dating apps like it's a national pastime. It's like a real-life game of "Guess My Height." I met a guy who claimed to be 6 feet tall. Turns out he was just standing on his optimism.
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Ever ask someone how they're doing, and they hit you with the classic, "I'm fine"? Yeah, that's the adult version of "I have a dinosaur as a pet." You know there's a whole Jurassic Park of emotions happening beneath that calm exterior.
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People lying on social media is the modern-day version of "the fish that got away." They post pictures of their perfect vacations, their flawless relationships, and gourmet home-cooked meals. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here like, "Yeah, I just mastered the art of microwaving leftovers.
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People have a unique talent for lying to themselves about their diet. "I only had one cookie today." Yeah, sure, if one means a whole sleeve. It's called the cookie math diet – the more you eat, the less you count.
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People lying about their cooking skills is the reason behind the existence of takeout menus. "Oh, I love experimenting with exotic spices and creating culinary masterpieces." Translation: "I can boil water without burning it.
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You know people are lying when they start a sentence with, "To make a long story short." Brace yourselves; you're about to hear the extended director's cut with deleted scenes and a surprise twist ending. Spoiler alert: It's never short.
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Have you ever noticed that people are allergic to the truth when they're late? "Sorry, I got caught in traffic." Really? Because I just passed you at the grocery store, and you were casually picking out avocados.
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You ever notice how people become professional actors when they're telling a story? I mean, you ask them what they had for lunch, and suddenly they're in an Oscar-winning performance, describing a gourmet meal from a five-star restaurant. "Oh, you know, just whipped up a little something with truffle oil and edible gold flakes. No big deal.
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