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What's the Longhorns' favorite subject in school? History, because it's the only place they can find their victories!
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What's the Longhorns' favorite type of music? Country! They always herd it's a-moo-sing!
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Did you hear about the Longhorns who started a band? They called it 'The Texas Chainsaw Horns'!
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Why did the OU fan bring a ladder to the game? Because they heard the Longhorns were outstanding in their field!
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Why did the football player go to culinary school before the OU Texas game? To learn how to serve up a victory!
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What did the Longhorn say to the Sooner during the game? 'You're really milking this win!
The Red River Rivalry
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You know, they call the matchup between Oklahoma and Texas the Red River Rivalry. It's like a family reunion, except instead of sharing barbecue recipes, they're exchanging heated insults and touchdowns. It's the only place where a hook 'em horns might lead to a Sooner punchline.
State Fair Showdown
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Have you guys heard about the annual showdown at the State Fair between Oklahoma and Texas? It's like a carnival, but instead of winning a giant stuffed animal, the prize is bragging rights for a whole year. I saw one guy win a goldfish and immediately name it Longhorn Tears.
Oklahoma Weather Strategy
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In Oklahoma, they say the weather can change in an instant. That's their secret strategy against Texas – confuse them with Mother Nature. One minute it's sunny, the next it's pouring rain. It's like trying to defend against a quarterback who can throw a perfect spiral in a tornado.
Postgame Handshake Diplomacy
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After the OU-Texas game, the postgame handshake is like an international diplomatic summit. There's a lot of smiling through gritted teeth, forced laughter, and the occasional whispered threat disguised as good sportsmanship. It's the only time a handshake might lead to a full-blown rivalry détente.
Spelling Bee Showdown
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They should settle the OU-Texas rivalry with a spelling bee. Imagine the Longhorns and Sooners facing off not on the football field, but on stage, trying to spell words like incomprehensible and disappointment. It would be the only game where the halftime show is a dictionary tutorial.
OU Fan GPS
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OU fans have a GPS specifically designed for the Texas game. It doesn't give directions; it just repeatedly says, Turn left for disappointment, turn right for heartbreak. It's the only GPS that understands the emotional rollercoaster of being a college football fan.
Oklahoma Musical Chairs
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At the OU-Texas game, finding a good seat is like playing musical chairs, except the chairs are covered in burnt orange and crimson paint. If you don't secure your spot early, you might end up sitting on the 50-yard line with a foam finger and a confused expression.
Longhorns' Secret Weapon
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I heard the Longhorns have a secret weapon for the OU game: a herd of actual longhorns on the sidelines. They figured if the players can't get through the defense, they might as well have something with horns that can.
Texas-Sized Tailgating
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The tailgating at the OU-Texas game is Texas-sized. I saw a barbecue pit so massive; it had its own area code. They're out there grilling burgers so big, they need two hands and a waiver to eat them. It's the only time the phrase everything's bigger in Texas includes the food and the football rivalry.
Football or Rodeo?
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Trying to decide between the OU and Texas game is tough. It's like choosing between football and a rodeo. Do you want to see a bunch of guys on horses trying to rope a steer, or do you want to watch a football game? Either way, someone's getting tackled.
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