16 Jokes For Once

Puns

Updated on: Aug 26 2024

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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful therapist? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Once, I tried to impress my crush by telling a joke. The only thing that cracked was my self-esteem.
Once, I decided to become a stand-up comedian. Now, my life is just one punchline after another, and my therapist has a waiting list.
Once upon a time, I decided to try meditation. Let's just say, the only thing that got enlightened was my snooze button!
Once, I attempted to join a gym. The only six-pack I got was from the vending machine in the lobby.
Once, I attempted to be a morning person. My morning routine now involves hitting the snooze button and negotiating with my alarm clock.
Once, I decided to take up gardening. Turns out, my plants have a black thumb, just like my sense of fashion.
Once, I thought I could become a professional chef. My signature dish? Smoke alarms.
Once, I tried to fix my own car. Let's just say, it's now officially a 'vintage' lawn ornament.
Once, I decided to learn a new language. Now, I can confidently order a pizza in six different ways.
Once, I tried to impress my date by cooking a fancy meal. The fire department was equally impressed.

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