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I tried online dating, and it's like online shopping for a relationship. You scroll through profiles, find one you like, and then anxiously wait for it to arrive. But instead of a perfect match, sometimes you get a pair of socks.
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I've mastered the art of pretending to be busy when I'm actually just sitting alone at a coffee shop. I open my laptop, furrow my brow, and stare intently at the screen like I'm writing the next great novel. Spoiler alert: it's just a grocery list.
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You ever get so lonely you start playing hide and seek with your reflection? Spoiler alert: it's always in the mirror, and it's terrible at hiding.
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You ever feel so lonely that even your shadow starts avoiding you? I mean, I looked down the other day, and my shadow was like, "Sorry, buddy, I've got plans with a sunbeam.
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Being single is a lot like being a bookmark. You're just stuck there, waiting for someone to pick you up and take you on an adventure. Meanwhile, your friends are flipping through the pages of their romantic novels.
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You know you're lonely when your pet fish becomes your closest confidant. I swear, I tell my fish all my problems, and it just swims there, judging me with its fishy eyes.
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I decided to try speed dating, and it turns out the only thing that's speedy is how fast you realize you're talking to the wrong person. It's like, "Hi, nice to meet you. Okay, goodbye!
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Loneliness is like a never-ending game of hide and seek. I keep counting to ten, expecting someone to jump out and surprise me with friendship. But so far, all I've found is a dusty old sock under the couch.
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Being lonely is like having a personal VIP section in the friend zone. I've got my own velvet ropes and everything. Sometimes I even let myself cut in line at the imaginary club.
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