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Novels are the only place where it's socially acceptable to stalk someone. I mean, you're literally following the characters' every move, flipping through pages to find out what they're up to. Try doing that in real life, and suddenly you're the weirdo.
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Reading a thick novel is a commitment. It's like starting a diet – you're all motivated at the beginning, but a few weeks later, you're surrounded by snacks and wondering where it all went wrong.
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Novels are basically like Netflix for your brain. You tell yourself you're only going to read one chapter, but before you know it, it's 2 AM, and you're emotionally invested in fictional characters. Netflix should come with a warning label – "May cause loss of sleep and attachment to imaginary friends.
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Reading a novel is a lot like going on a road trip. You start with this ambitious goal of finishing it, but halfway through, you're just hoping for a good ending and wondering why you didn't take a plane.
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Have you ever tried to discuss a novel with someone who hasn't read it? It's like trying to explain a dream – you're excited, they're confused, and you end up realizing how bizarre the plot really is.
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Starting a new novel is like a blind date. You're hopeful, intrigued, and secretly praying it won't be a total waste of time. And just like a bad date, you might find yourself silently judging the author's choices.
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Novels teach us that even the most ordinary people can have extraordinary stories. Meanwhile, I'm over here thinking about how my neighbor's life would probably make a bestseller. I mean, have you seen the way they mow their lawn? Drama at its finest.
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I love how novels have those intense plot twists. Real life needs more of that. Imagine going to the grocery store, and suddenly the produce section reveals a shocking secret. "Cucumbers are actually aliens in disguise, folks!
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You ever notice how novels are like relationships? At the beginning, you're excited, can't put it down, and everything is just so thrilling. But by the end, you're just thinking, "Well, that took a lot longer than I expected, and I'm not sure if it was worth it.
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