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Neckromancers must have secret meetings where they exchange tips on how to make a cracking sound with their necks that rivals the applause at a comedy show. Seriously, my neck pops more than bubble wrap on a stress-filled day.
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Neckromancers must have a spell to detect when someone's about to ask for a massage. I swear, as soon as I think about it, my coworker with magical fingers disappears faster than a Hogwarts letter in the hands of a determined owl.
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Have you ever noticed how neckromancers always have perfect posture? It's like they've unlocked the secret to standing like a majestic giraffe while the rest of us are slouching like we just finished a marathon of our favorite TV show.
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I tried to impress a neckromancer once by showing off my ability to turn my head 180 degrees like an owl. Turns out, they're more impressed by people who can maintain good posture and avoid looking like human question marks. Who knew?
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You ever meet someone who's like a neckromancer at the office? They magically appear behind you when you're browsing non-work-related websites, making your neck disappear like it's a forbidden scroll.
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Neckromancers are the unsung heroes of the modern era. Forget about battling dragons; they're the real MVPs, fighting the mighty foe called "tech neck" as we all scroll through our phones like we're deciphering ancient hieroglyphics.
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Neckromancers probably invented the term "Netflix and chill" because they know the true struggle of finding a comfortable position on the couch without feeling like a human pretzel. It's like their version of a magical incantation for relaxation.
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I went to see a neckromancer for my stiff neck the other day. Instead of potions, he handed me a heating pad and said, "Use this enchanted device for 20 minutes, and your neck shall be resurrected." It worked, but I think he just upgraded from a cauldron to a microwave.
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I suspect that my pillow is in cahoots with a neckromancer because every morning, I wake up feeling like I've been in a wrestling match with my own bedding. I guess it's their way of keeping things interesting.
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