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Ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? It's like being in a romantic comedy, except you're the only one laughing at the jokes! I dated someone so self-absorbed; they probably had a shrine dedicated to their selfies. I remember our conversations—more like soliloquies starring them, with me as the enthusiastic audience member!
And compliments? Oh, they were masters at backhanded compliments. "You're great, but not as great as me," was their go-to line. I felt like replying, "Well, obviously! I don't have a selfie stick permanently attached to my hand!"
But dating a narcissist teaches you valuable lessons, like the art of saying "I" in different languages because that's all you're going to hear in a conversation!
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You know, I've got this neighbor, and I swear, their level of self-love is beyond belief. I mean, they're so narcissistic, they've probably taken selfies with their houseplants and framed it! But let me tell you, the other day, I saw them standing in front of their house, just admiring their lawn. I thought, "Wow, they're really into gardening," until I realized they were just looking at their reflection in the window!
And it's not just that. They love talking about themselves so much that when you ask how they're doing, you better brace yourself for a monologue longer than a Shakespeare play! I asked, "Hey, how's it going?" and suddenly, I found myself in their life story from birth to present, complete with a PowerPoint presentation!
I guess living next to a narcissist has its perks, though. I never need a mirror in the morning. I just stand by my window and wait for my neighbor to walk past so I can fix my hair using their shiny forehead reflection!
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Celebrities can be a tad self-centered, right? But I came across this one celebrity whose ego was bigger than their entourage. They were so narcissistic; they probably high-fived their own reflection in the mirror! Their social media posts were a mix of "Look at me" and "Look at me again from a different angle." I swear, they probably have a selfie stick surgically attached to their hand!
But you know, being a narcissistic celebrity has its perks. They're probably the only person who'd throw themselves a surprise birthday party just for the attention!
And their interviews? It was less about the movie they were promoting and more like an autobiography titled "All About Me: The Unabridged Version." I'm surprised the interviewer got a word in; they could have replaced them with a mirror, and the conversation wouldn't have changed!
There you have it, folks! Narcissism, the one-man show we all inadvertently become a part of in different aspects of life!
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Ever had a boss who thinks the company revolves around them? I had one like that, and let me tell you, they were the CEO of "Me, Myself, and I Incorporated." This boss was so narcissistic; they probably had a life-size portrait of themselves in their office that they'd bow to every morning. And team meetings? Oh boy! It was like a one-person show starring them, directed by them, and the award for Best Performance also went to—you guessed it—the boss!
I remember once suggesting an idea in a meeting, and they said, "That's brilliant! Almost as brilliant as my idea last week." I couldn't help but think, "Wow, even their compliments are self-centered!"
But you know, working for a narcissistic boss teaches you important life skills. Like how to nod and smile while internally rolling your eyes so hard, you're practically auditing their brain!
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