17 Jokes For Narcissistic

Puns

Updated on: Apr 16 2025

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Why did the narcissist refuse to play hide and seek? They said, 'Why would I hide when the whole world should be seeking me!
Why did the narcissist start a podcast? Because they wanted the whole world to hear their voice of reason – also known as 'Me-speak'!
Why did the narcissist become a gardener? Because they couldn't resist planting themselves everywhere!
Why did the narcissist break up with the mirror? It couldn't reflect their true greatness anymore!
Why did the narcissist go to therapy? They heard it was a place where someone would finally listen to their amazing life story!
Why did the narcissist start a band? They wanted everyone to play second fiddle to their lead guitar of self-love!
Why did the narcissist bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house, and they wanted a better view of their reflection!

Selfies Anonymous

I tried joining a support group for narcissists. It's called Selfies Anonymous. The problem is, we spent the entire session taking group photos. I've never seen so many filters in one room—it was like a digital carnival!

Talking to Myself

I read somewhere that talking to yourself is a sign of narcissism. So now, when people catch me doing it, I just say, I'm having a board meeting with my most valuable asset—me!

Narcissistic Diet

I tried a new diet. It's called the Narcissist Diet. You only eat foods that start with the letter I. Ice cream, iced coffee, and, well, that's it. Turns out, it's not a sustainable meal plan!

Narcissistic GPS

I got a new GPS system, and it's so narcissistic. Every time I make a wrong turn, it doesn't say, Recalculating. It says, Are you sure you want to defy my infinite wisdom?

Narcissistic Relationships

I was in a relationship with someone who accused me of being narcissistic. I said, Honey, I'm not narcissistic; I'm just in a committed relationship with myself. It's called self-partnering!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

You know, my therapist told me I might have a bit of a narcissistic streak. I told her, Look, if I can't be my own biggest fan, who will? I'm just practicing self-love, but with a spotlight and an audience!

Narcissistic Yoga

I tried narcissistic yoga. It's like regular yoga, but instead of downward dog, you just pose in front of a mirror and admire your own flexibility. It's great for the ego and the hamstrings!

Narcissistic Social Media

I deleted all my social media accounts because they said it's a sign of narcissism. Now, I just send carrier pigeons with selfies attached. It's like snail mail but with more pouty faces!

The Narcissist's Calendar

I bought a new calendar, and it's designed for narcissists. It only has one date marked—my birthday. Every other day is just a reminder that it's not as important as the glorious day I graced this planet.

Narcissistic Fortune Telling

I went to see a fortune teller who told me I was narcissistic. I said, Tell me something I don't know! She replied, You'll still be talking about yourself in the future. Well, at least she was accurate!

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