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Why did the narcissist refuse to play hide and seek? They said, 'Why would I hide when the whole world should be seeking me!
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Why did the narcissist start a podcast? Because they wanted the whole world to hear their voice of reason – also known as 'Me-speak'!
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Why did the narcissist become a gardener? Because they couldn't resist planting themselves everywhere!
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Why did the narcissist break up with the mirror? It couldn't reflect their true greatness anymore!
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Why did the narcissist go to therapy? They heard it was a place where someone would finally listen to their amazing life story!
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Why did the narcissist start a band? They wanted everyone to play second fiddle to their lead guitar of self-love!
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Why did the narcissist bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house, and they wanted a better view of their reflection!
Selfies Anonymous
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I tried joining a support group for narcissists. It's called Selfies Anonymous. The problem is, we spent the entire session taking group photos. I've never seen so many filters in one room—it was like a digital carnival!
Talking to Myself
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I read somewhere that talking to yourself is a sign of narcissism. So now, when people catch me doing it, I just say, I'm having a board meeting with my most valuable asset—me!
Narcissistic Diet
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I tried a new diet. It's called the Narcissist Diet. You only eat foods that start with the letter I. Ice cream, iced coffee, and, well, that's it. Turns out, it's not a sustainable meal plan!
Narcissistic GPS
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I got a new GPS system, and it's so narcissistic. Every time I make a wrong turn, it doesn't say, Recalculating. It says, Are you sure you want to defy my infinite wisdom?
Narcissistic Relationships
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I was in a relationship with someone who accused me of being narcissistic. I said, Honey, I'm not narcissistic; I'm just in a committed relationship with myself. It's called self-partnering!
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
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You know, my therapist told me I might have a bit of a narcissistic streak. I told her, Look, if I can't be my own biggest fan, who will? I'm just practicing self-love, but with a spotlight and an audience!
Narcissistic Yoga
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I tried narcissistic yoga. It's like regular yoga, but instead of downward dog, you just pose in front of a mirror and admire your own flexibility. It's great for the ego and the hamstrings!
Narcissistic Social Media
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I deleted all my social media accounts because they said it's a sign of narcissism. Now, I just send carrier pigeons with selfies attached. It's like snail mail but with more pouty faces!
The Narcissist's Calendar
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I bought a new calendar, and it's designed for narcissists. It only has one date marked—my birthday. Every other day is just a reminder that it's not as important as the glorious day I graced this planet.
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