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I told myself I should invest in stocks. So, I bought a pair of really comfortable ones.
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I told myself I should start gardening. But then I realized, plants need water, and I can barely hydrate myself.
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I told myself I was going to make a vegetable pun, but I couldn't produce any.
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I told myself I should do more cardio, so I ran to the store... I bought cupcakes.
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I told myself I should embrace my inner child. So, I bought an ice cream cone.
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I told myself I should go on a diet. Then I realized, chocolate is a salad; it's made from cocoa beans!
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I told myself I should exercise more. So, I got a gym membership and a pizza.
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