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I told myself I'd stop being indecisive, but I'm not quite sure about it.
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I'm a firm believer in the power of positive drinking... I mean thinking!
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Mirrors can be deceiving. I looked in the mirror this morning and thought, Wow, who's that good-looking guy? Turns out, it was just me. I guess my mirror is a stand-up comedian too, working on some material.
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I recently tried dating myself, you know, treating myself to a fancy dinner. It was going great until I realized I was arguing with myself about who should pick up the check. Let me tell you, splitting the bill has never been so complicated.
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I tried self-motivation, you know, giving myself pep talks in the mirror. But the mirror just stared back at me, unimpressed. I guess even my reflection thinks my goals are a bit too ambitious.
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They say I'm single and ready to mingle, but with myself, it's more like I'm single and ready to binge-watch a series alone. My dating life is like a solo concert – just me, singing in the shower.
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They say talking to yourself is a sign of genius. Well, if that's true, I must be a genius because I have the most intellectual debates with myself. The only downside is that I always end up losing to the guy in the mirror.
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I had a heated argument with myself the other day. I thought I won, but then I realized I also lost. Now I'm not talking to myself, and let me tell you, the silent treatment is really awkward when it's just you in the room.
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I started reading self-help books to understand myself better. The first chapter was titled Know Your Inner Self, but after reading it, I was more confused than ever. Turns out, my inner self is a mystery even to me.
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Well, living with myself is like having a roommate who never does the dishes and always hogs the mirror. I tried talking to him, but it turns out he's just a reflection of my bad habits. I'm stuck in a lease with my own flaws!
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I played mind games with myself, and I lost. Now I'm giving myself the cold shoulder. It's amazing how easily I can hold a grudge against myself. I'm like a one-person drama series, and I always end up binge-watching my own issues.
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