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My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with . I told her, 'Well, that's a real punishment!
Marriage: Where 'I Do' Becomes 'I'm Done'
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It's funny how marriage starts with I do and somehow transforms into I'm done. I think wedding vows should come with a fine print that says, Subject to change without warning.
Marriage: The Ultimate Reality Show
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My wife said she's leaving me, and I'm thinking, Is this some kind of hidden camera show? Am I being Punk'd? Where's Ashton Kutcher? Marriage is like the ultimate reality show, and apparently, I've been voted off the island.
Wife's GPS: Gone, Probably Somewhere
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My wife is leaving me, and I'm like, Is there an 'Are You Sure?' button for marriage? I bet her GPS is just constantly saying, Recalculating... probably somewhere, I guess.
Packing Up Memories, Leaving Me with Amnesia
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So, my wife is packing her bags and taking all her memories with her. Meanwhile, I'm standing there like, Could you at least leave me with the remote control? I need something to hold onto!
Divorce Diet: Losing Half of Everything
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My wife is leaving, and I'm realizing I'm about to start the divorce diet – you know, the one where you lose half of everything you own. I never thought I'd be on a diet involuntarily.
Marriage: The Only Contract Without a Renewal Option
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You know, when she told me she's leaving, I asked, Can we renegotiate the terms of this contract? Apparently, marriage is the only contract that doesn't come with a renewal option. Not even an extended warranty!
Marriage Exit Strategy
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So, my wife dropped the bombshell and said she's leaving me. I didn't even know we had an exit interview scheduled! I thought marriage was a life sentence, not a job with a two-week notice.
Failed Marriage: A Crash Course in Love and Loss
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Getting divorced is like a crash course in love and loss. It's like signing up for a class you thought was pottery but turned out to be advanced emotional origami.
She's Leaving, Not Evacuating a Disaster Zone
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I told my friends my wife is leaving me, and they started treating me like I'm in a disaster zone. Do you need shelter? Should we bring in supplies? Guys, it's a breakup, not a hurricane evacuation!
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