bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever get into one of those conversations where people start comparing IQ scores like they're trading cards? It's like, "Oh, you're a 140? Well, I'm a 145, so clearly, I'm the superior being." And I'm sitting there thinking, "I'm just happy when I remember to bring my reusable grocery bags to the store." But I've figured out a strategy. Instead of revealing my actual IQ, I just make up random numbers. Someone asks, "What's your IQ?" and I'm like, "Oh, it's a solid 275. I'm basically a combination of Einstein and a really smart dolphin." Shut them right up.
Because at the end of the day, does IQ really matter? I mean, I've met some genius-level IQ folks who can't figure out how to parallel park either. So let's all just agree that intelligence is relative, and we can bond over our collective struggles to adult in this confusing world.
0
0
You ever notice how people talk about IQ like it's some sort of evolutionary scale? Like, "Oh, you have a high IQ, you must be the next step in human evolution!" Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out how to parallel park without scraping the bumper. I feel like if IQ really measured evolution, my ancestors must have been the ones who invented the wheel, and I'm the one who can't figure out how to use a fidget spinner. It's like, "Congratulations, you've evolved to a point where you can solve complex problems! But good luck figuring out how to assemble that IKEA furniture."
Maybe the real measure of intelligence is how well you can navigate through automated customer service menus. Forget the IQ test; just put me on the phone with a robot, and we'll see who comes out on top.
0
0
People throw around IQ scores like confetti at a parade, but when it comes to real life, I'm just trying to avoid walking into walls while texting. I mean, I appreciate the concept of intelligence, but can we get an IQ test that measures how well you can adult? I'd love to see a test where they ask questions like, "Can you do your taxes without crying?" or "Do you know how to change a tire without calling AAA?" Now, that's an IQ test I can relate to. The only mathematical equation I need to solve is how much sleep I can get before I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning.
So, my IQ might not be off the charts, but I've got a Ph.D. in figuring out the fastest Wi-Fi at a coffee shop. Take that, Mensa.
0
0
You know, someone came up to me the other day and said, "Hey, what's your IQ?" And I'm sitting there thinking, "My IQ? I don't even know how to change the oil in my car, and you're asking about my IQ?" I mean, do people even understand what IQ really measures? I feel like my IQ should come with a manual or at least a set of IKEA-style instructions. And then there's the pressure, right? The higher the IQ, the more you're supposed to be this genius, but I can't even remember where I put my car keys half the time. I'm over here worrying about the IQ test, and my brain is like, "Hey, remember that embarrassing thing you did in high school?" Thanks, brain. Real helpful.
So next time someone asks me about my IQ, I'll just say, "It's somewhere between 'knows how to tie shoes' and 'can operate a microwave.' And that's a solid range, my friend.
Post a Comment