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I'm not saying I'm a genius, but when my cat knocks something off the table, I can tell by the sound exactly how disappointed he is in me. It's like feline emotional intelligence.
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I found out my IQ, and now I feel this immense pressure to be the smart friend. Like, sorry, guys, I can't go out tonight; I have to stay in and ponder the mysteries of the universe.
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My IQ is so high that when I play chess, I don't strategize; I just have a deep conversation with the pieces about their hopes and dreams. You'd be surprised how much insight a rook can offer.
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I recently discovered my IQ score, and let me tell you, it's like finding out your phone battery percentage - you know it's not going to change your life, but suddenly you're just a little more aware of your own limitations.
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You know, I tried one of those online IQ tests the other day. It said my IQ was so high, it's probably considering a career change. I mean, who knew my brain had aspirations?
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Ever notice how IQ tests always make you feel like you're in a high-stakes game show? I half-expected the proctor to dramatically reveal my score while confetti fell from the ceiling. Spoiler alert: it didn't happen.
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My IQ is so high that when someone says, "It's not rocket science," I just smile and nod, thinking, "Well, actually...
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I did an IQ test the other day and got a result that could only be described as "above average." I guess that makes me the Meryl Streep of standardized testing.
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So, I got my IQ test results back. Turns out, my intelligence is so advanced, it can predict when the microwave is about to beep. It's a gift, really.
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